The bank man asked me my birthday. I said April 17. He said "Yes, What year?"

I said, "Every year"

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDCanuck
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Two chinese guys break into a distillery, one asks the other β€˜is this whisky?’’

The other replied β€˜yes, but not as whisky as wobbing a bank’

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucasM__
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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My dad asked me if I look forward to visiting the bank.

"What do you mean? What bank?"

"You are going to Palestine..."

"Yes, and? Why would I go to a bank in Palestine?"

"The West Bank"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaywalkerr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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Bank Joke

I work in a retail bank and a customer walked into the office and said: Teller asks customer if he'd like her to check his balance. He says yes. So she pushes him over.

ba dum chiss

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sizzlebutt666
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2014
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Happened last night while watching Den of Thieves with my dad.

Dad: Is that 50 cents?

Me: Yes dad that is 50 cent.

Dad: After this bank robbery he's gonna have to adjust his name for inflation...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DConner777
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
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Slightly offensive dadjoke at work

This one was about two years ago, but it was one of my favorite memories of work due to the reaction it got. There's a little bit of a setup/backstory for this.

I landed a job at the local Sam's Club before it opened, so I, along with the other associates, was to attend a credit training event at a very nice bank in town.

There were probably 30 or 40 in the class and most of us knew each other pretty well because we had spent the past few weeks 'blitzing,' or selling Sam's Club memberships at Walmarts in the area.

Anyway, the credit guy (his name fails me) was giving a powerpoint presentation on the ins and outs of the Sam's credit accounts. At one point, he said that for pre-approved members, a piece of paper called a 'chit' will print out. There were a few chuckles and he smiled and said "yeah, I know," and carried on.

Then I raised my hand.

He called on me, and I began: "So if a church with a business membership is pre-approved, who's responsible for applying? A church accountant or one of the clergy or something?"

"Yes, whoever owns the account itself."

"Would that be considered a 'holy chit?'"

The class erupted in laughter and one associate even left the room because she was laughing so hard. I saw one of the managers in class with us had his head buried in his arms laughing to the point of tears.

Probably my finest moment.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalJunkie101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2015
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I was helping my dad move stuff out of his storage unit when I came across a stack of metal rods.

Me: Dad, do you need these?

Dad (with a shit-eating grin): YES! In fact, I was going to put them in the bank. Then it would be a pole vault!

Bonus rebuttal! My husband (not a dad): Look, do you want us to help you or not?

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pollyatomic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2014
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