I yelled into a colander...
...and now my voice is strained.
A man woke up in the hospital after a serious accident, the man yelled "DOCTOR! DOCTOR, I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!"
The doctor then replied "i know, i amputated your arms."
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
Daffy Duck went to Porky Pig’s house. When he arrived he used the bathroom, but there wasn’t any toilet paper. Daffy yelled for Porky and Porky replied:
Bidet bidet bidet, that’s all folks.
I accidentally stepped on my cats tail. The cat jumped, and I ended up kicking the table pretty hard. “Ouch!” I yelled
“YOU, ow?” The cat replied in disbelief.
“ME-ow”
A man had a fetish for touching and hearing, one day his friend got mad and slapped and yelled at the man
He ended up coming to his senses
After checking the delivery tracking app, my wife yelled in a fit of rage, “now my package isn’t coming for another 5 days!”
I replied, now you know how I feel.
My German teacher yelled at me "die!"
I should really study those articles
My wife got mad at me when I opened the window and yelled "Nice rack!"....
... But that buck must have been a 6 pointer!
My wife yelled from upstairs and asked ...
"Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?"
I replied " No ..."
She responded: "How about now?"
The janitor jumped out of the closet and yelled
"Spider!" yelled my wife from upstairs "bring up the newspaper".
"Fair enough," I shouted back, "which one does he want to read?"
Why beekeeper yelled at his son?
Because he didn't beehive properly.
My wife yelled, “You got a vasectomy without telling anyone! Are you kidding me?”
My wife yelled at me after I ate all of our English pastries
Hell hath no fury like a woman sconed
My wife yelled at me to put the toilet seat down
I can’t even remember why I was carrying it around
I’m the kind of guy that would yell “Language” whenever anyone curses. My friend yelled out the F-bomb. I said “Language.” She then flipped me off.
A Firefighter ran into a school holding a screwdriver and yelled...
Quick, everyone get out, this is NOT a drill!
My wife just yelled at the kids “who got into the peanut butter
Me: probably a bunch of nuts
I was the only one who laughed.
2 cowboys were riding along and one saw a tree with bacon dangling from the branches. One called out saying "Look a Bacon Tree!" As they went closer to have a look they were confronted with a sky full of arrows. The other cowboy yelled:
This is no Bacon Tree, this is a Ham Bush.
"Push harder", I shouted at my wife while she was in labor. "Screw you", she yelled back at me.
A bit harsh I thought, it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to hospital.
Today I insisted that my son had a hole in his shoe. He didn't believe me and kept looking and looking, took it off and inspect it. He yelled "There is no hole in there at all!"
So I yelled back "Then how did your foot get in there!"
My wife yelled, “Hey, the sun’s coming out!” So I wore my shorts and flip flops and came downstairs.
Found my son holding hand with his boyfriend.
A newly enlisted recruit was in basic training, being yelled at by a former barbecue chef.
He was their Grill Sergeant.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?"
I said, "Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!"
“Oh FUDGE!” I yelled as if I had forgotten something...
As we were driving by the chocolate store. Groans had by all.
I yelled, “COW!” at a woman on a bike
As she rode by. She looked at me, gave me the finger, and turned back around and promptly plowed her bike into the cow.
I tried.
Yelled down the street to my daughter while she was walking my FIL's little chihuahua: "Hey did you get that dog on sale??"
It certainly looks like you got it half off!!
I could hear the groan all the way up the street..success!
My daughter yelled: "Dad, are you even listening!?"
I thought it was a very weird way to start a conversation.
I got yelled at for using plastic.
The guy next to me tripped and yelled "Motherfucker!"
Talk about a Freudian slip.
My wife yelled up the stairs at me "Can you bring me .... nevermind"
... so I sent my niece downstairs with the Nirvana album.
Cop pulled me over and said “PAPERS.” I yelled scissors and drove off.
"Move t'ward the rudder, matey!" The captain yelled.
"Aye aye, cap'n," the first mate said as he gave him astern look.
My boss yelled at me for cutting articles out of a magazine at work.
He said to do it on my own Time.
I tried to change the wood of my table but got yelled at
I was just trying to spruce things up
I stubbed my toe and yelled MOTHERFUCKER! in response
My dad poked his head in and said: ¨You rang?¨
I yelled at the kids through the colander today,
The wife yelled from upstairs
Hunny, do you ever get a shooting pain like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they are stabbing it?
I said no.
She said How about now?
My wife yelled at me, telling me to put the toilet seat down...
Don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place.
The other day I yelled into a colander.
Today I yelled into a colander.
I yelled “cow!” at a woman on a bike and she gave me the finger.
Then she plowed her bike straight into the cow.
I yelled into a colander yesterday
The other day I yelled into a colander
And I strained my voice!!!
i yelled into a colander today...
...ended up straining my voice
The other day I yelled into a colander.
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