X-men movies should be shot as silent films in japan...

Cuz the movies all about mute-asians....(mutations)... geddit?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evamPUNdit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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Japanese Cuisine

Friend: You tried Yakiniku when you were in Japan?

Me: Yeah.

Friend: What kind?
Me: I had horumon

Friend: Oh... that's offal.

Me: It really was.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theonlybobtheduck
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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And now we are onto the Late News!

Hitler invades Poland, Japan attacks Pearl Harbor, and the Tripartite Pact has been signed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kcir-dellor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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Did you know the flag of Japan is actually a pie chart?

Of how much of Japan is Japan.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/p_9213
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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What's the best kind of pan to make sushi in?

Japan

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldie101
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2017
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My Japanese friend, Nara, is leaving today.

He always makes these lame jokes.

Before he left, he said he'll Skype me from Japan and said "see you on the flip side!"

Sigh, oh Nara.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grey_rook
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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The best oriental dad pun.

My dad was born in Japan. We're an average looking white family. My dad says he doesn't look Asian because when he crossed the ocean he became disoriented.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cooterholland
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2015
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Japan's emporer.

Japan's emporer.
Deposed atop mount fuji.
That was a high coup.

πŸ‘︎ 273
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SumDryGuy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2017
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These puns are Capital!

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take him on a piss up to Iceland. When asked why he said:

I want to wreck ya vic!

Why should you never let a man go swimming in Finland with weights on his ankles?

Coz He'll sinky

What do people most commonly use toilet paper for in Bandar Seri Begawan?

Their Brunei

Catwoman bet her male counterpart he couldn't pronouce the capitol of Nepal. But cat man do.

Why was the Polish man rubbing his bollocks? Coz they warsaw.

I just came up with a cracking pun for Japan. Alas, all the wife could say was "What Tokyo so long?"

The ex Mrs McCartney got naked in East Germany in the 80s. She was known for years in the area as Bare-lin

Cheap flights to Russia still available! Book now! Everything Moscow!

The people of Bahamas think learning Capitol cities is Nassau important

The people of the Netherlands had a need to build a water driven power station as well as an overabundance of pork products. So they used 'Ams to Dam a river.

A husband and wife in the Phillipines were both very, very unwell. The woman was sick, but the man iller.

What's the average Senegalian's favoured mode of transport? Da car

Have you heard about the talking cat in Somalia that only throws insults? The Moggy Diss you

They are obsessed with John Cleese in Uruguay. They love a video of Fawlty towers almost as much as they love a Montevideo

People from Vietnam Hanoi the hell outta me

Rain storms are very rare in Zambia, but in Zimbabwe they Harera

Before you do a joke about Macedonia, let me Skopje right there

I've heard Swedish Ikea workers get stuff for free, they can just take Stockholm

If you are trying to eat Halal in Pakistan, Islamabad or good choice?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoghead
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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My econ professor just hit us with a dad joke

Kid in the class: β€œoh you lived in Japan, do you know Kung fu?”

Professor: β€œno. I didn’t know Kung fu, but I knew his brother Harry”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SedatedAlpaca
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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My Greatest Pun So Far

I was with a friend in the mall, we wandered into one of those stores where they have cute Japan-ized versions of everything. We were looking at some overly cute plush round pillow-esque versions of Spongebob, Dora the Explorer, and Spiderman.

My friend picks up Dora the Explorer and says "Man, she's not supposed to be round, what is this?" I instantly came back with "Come on man, it's a-Dora-ball."

I was so proud I've been telling everyone and I figured you guys would appreciate it.

πŸ‘︎ 137
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gimpster
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2012
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Dad at the Dinner Discussion

The topic is racism. My mom, sisters, and I are talking about how racism and stereotypes are not the same while my dad just quietly eats his food. We all give some examples of stereotypes for different cultures and how they might have come about. Then there is a break in the conversation.

A break for dad to casually throw in his two cents: "Many stereo types are from Japan."

I can imagine his thoughts before saying it. Oh, I've got one for this. Come on, set me up set me up . . . yes!

Good stuff, dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dodig111
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2013
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Dad dropped a monster of a dad joke on me yesterday.

Watching tv, and a tv spot for Godzilla comes on.

Me: That's going to be freaking awesome.

Dad: Oh yeah?

Me: Yeah, you know he's(Godzilla) the biggest he's ever been here.

Dad: No, he was bigger in Japan.

He was mighty pleased with himself.

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrickOrTreater
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2014
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Japanese Olympic Track and field team [long]

the Japanese Olympic Track and field team, in typical Asian make-every-thing-harder-to-do-than-it-has-to-be fashion have announced that hey are sticking by their regimen of only using malformed, decade-and-a-half old, equipment rigged to pop out of the course unexpectedly in order to secure their hopes of Olympic glory. While this may seem counter intuitive, Kadauo Osakamizu, a analyst for the team claims there is actually a historic cultural precedent for the odd exercises. In a quote, Mr. Osakamizu insists that the idea is that "if the team can excel with such sub-par materials, executing wins when the equipment is good should be of little concern."

So it seems that at least for the foreseeable future, Japan will be pinning their hopes on Teenage, Mutant, Ninja Hurdles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheStaffmaster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2016
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Homosexuals in Japan

Dad: Did you know that there's a higher percentage of gay men in Japan than in the United States?

Me: No I didn't

Dad: Yea they can't help it if every blow-job's a bro-job

Me: intense look of disappointment

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lemon_waffles
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2016
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Dad jokes from the Far East

Went to Japan with my wife a couple years ago, brought a paper map everywhere.

Every time we got off a train I would pull out the map and say, "Now we just have to orient ourselves..."

I giggled like a girl every time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lewmarster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2013
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Dad dropped bombs all night long...

Japanese Hibatchi steakhouse, all the chefs in cheesy cowboy outfits.

Dad: I guess you're from Western Japan.
Chef: Oooo got me there.

Groans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nrthstar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2014
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Dad said this at a Japanese restaurant a few nights ago

So my family and I were out to dinner a few nights ago and I was talking about how in Japan the restrictions on Kobe beef are different from the rest of the world, so when you order it in many restaurants you're not actually eating Kobe beef. My dad's response to this was that it wasn't actually "Kobe beef" but "LeBron beef".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/canucksoul
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2014
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Got a buddy at work today.

My buddy at work saw me driving a company truck and sent me a text since he is transferring to another office in Japan.

Mike: Why are you in that stake bed. Me: Because I was hungry and tired! Mike: That doesn't make any sense. Me: Steak. Bed. Mike: Damn you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmettam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2015
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Grandpa pulled this one out today...

My brother started to tell my grandpa about his plan to study abroad in Japan for the summer.

My grandpa asked "Who's the broad?"

I don't even think he meant it as a joke and just misinterpreted, but I can't stop laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lordoftime
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2014
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What is the best pan to use to make sushi?

Japan!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Malorum1110
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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What's the best kind of pan to make sushi in?

Japan

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nikkobe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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what is the best pan to cook sushi

japan

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperSpaceMan230
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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