A dad joke my science teacher told me a long time ago:

Why are bacteria so bad at math?Because they multiply by dividing.RIP Miss Henn. Miss her lots.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/cockneybastard
šŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2022
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My stepdad works for a funeral home making memorial markers

He brought up someone who ordered a headstone with a picture of a wrecker etched into it. We wondered who it was, and he brought up the buyer's name (hereafter Bob). "Bob still lives out on the north side of the city where we went to school."

"Did he die?" my mother asked.

"No," he answered.

I chimed in. "Mom, he just said Bob lives there."

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/GoonerBear94
šŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2022
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I stepped on a snail

Iā€™m practically a home wrecker

šŸ‘︎ 7
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šŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2021
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My friends wife says she can't resist me.

I guess that makes me an ohm wrecker

šŸ‘︎ 56
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Londonforce
šŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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