Worcester Cathedral Puns

As supporters line up outside Worcester Cathedral, Prussian prepares his notes for his first speech of the campaign.

As he enters onto the field and walks to the podium the crowd cheers in excitement

“Worcester I return!”

The crowd cheers as Prussian raises his hands into the air.

“It is so great to be back with everyone of you, it truly means a lot, not only to me but to the nation as a whole! We alone drive the gears of history and only we alone can put our mark on it.”

“We have seen countless times the ineffective and weak leadership the Opposition bring. Have they solved any of your problems?!”

”No!” shouts the crowd.

“So why do we trust them to lead our great nation into the future? That’s exactly the problem we face as a people, we put our trust into these all talk no action politicians, who have never benefited our nation in any way shape or form!”

“That is why I, A_Cool_Prussian, am proud to be running for Parliament for the great constituency of Upper Severn! Because together, we can truly make history as the people who helped set the motion for the glorious revolution that we will all partake in!”

The crowd cheers in excitement after Prussian announces this.

“I truly love this nation with all my heart, I care about everyone in this state no matter who you are. Rich or poor, farmer or city folk, white or black, male or female, because what really makes Britain, Britain, is our never ending determination to always achieve success even when facing defeat we have proven time and time again our strength and determination for we are what really makes this nation strong and proud!”

The crowd cheers for 25 seconds.

“I care about the common man. That’s why I did my best to HELP the common man! From keeping radical members in Parliament in check, and voting on EVERY piece of legislation that came across, I made sure that I can do the best I could when it came to the people. And I assure you, as a Member of Parliament representing this constituency I will make sure of that.”

“What has Labour done to help the people of Upper Severn? I have not seen anything from them. Because the current state of the Labour Party, rather than pragmatic approach to Britain’s issues like I have, they have been choosing a radical left-wing approach only helping the loud yet small minority. You are the silent majority! And we will go to the ballot booths on election day and show them who really should decide our nation’s destiny!”

The crowd cheers

“I