I making a game full of terrible, wonderful, puns. What do you guys think?
Bill Bryson's dad vs the San Andreas Fault
I went and saw author Bill Bryson speak last night and he told us how his dad used to make the most wonderful puns. I'll paraphrase best I can:
They had traveled from Iowa to California on vacation, and they were driving along the coast. They stopped at an informational plaque at the San Andreas Fault, and his dad walked straight up to the huge crack in the ground and threw a quarter in. When the kids asked why he did that, he simply responded "I've always wanted to be generous to a fault."
I was wondering why music was coming from my printer...
apparently the paper was jamming.
I wonder if he's purebred.
I was wondering, Why is that baseball getting bigger??
I wonder if he ate the wrapper too
While watching Harry Potter once, I said to my Dad “I wonder what the Hogwarts version of a dirty magazine would be” as Harry was rooting through his chest of things.
Without skipping a beat he said “Whorelocks.”
My 7 year old, gazing in wide eyed wonder asked, "Is the Aurora Borealis heavy?"
I said, "No, it's pretty light. "
Shout out to all those who wonder
what’s the opposite of in.
Thought of this while I was teaching my little brother about the wonderful world of colors
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone, and I wondered why they were doing that...
I am at the waiting room of the doctor’s office, wondering when my girlfriend’s checkup will be over.
Sitting at the Doc of the Bae, wasting time.
Just wondering, do you think it's alright for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in school..
..or am I just a terrible Teacher ?
I wondered why the ball kept getting bigger
Why do you never see Wonder Woman or the Amazons cry?
They don’t want to smear Themyscira
I always wondered why the the bakery down the street went out of business.
It turns out they were using Naan starter.
An actual variation on a joke my father said.
You ever wonder
if homeless people tell knock-knock jokes?
I was wondering who weighed more, cows or horses
Sure, the horse is bigger, but the cow looks BEEFY
I used to wonder why microsoft skipped windows 9
But I shouldn't be surprised.
After all, years back, Microsoft published ms-DOS without ever releasing an ms-UNO
I was out by the street trying to hitchhike but every single car I stuck my thumb out for just passed me by. I began to wonder if it had something to do with the cargo shorts I was wearing.
So I went home and put on some carstop shorts, and had much better success at hitchhiking after that.
What does Stevie Wonder say to Louis Armstrong?
I stood in the park wondering why a frisbee gets larger when it gets closer
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet?
I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.
What does Wonder Woman do before she goes to bed?
Anyone ever wonder why dads have so many great jokes?
We have a dad-abase full of them.
No wonder he did a shit job
I always wondered how Wonder woman travelled from Themyscira to London in 1 day...
I then realized she's an amazon, so she gets next day shipping
Something I've always wonder about rubberbands...
What kind of music genre are they?
I wonder if Anakin Skywalker was a big fan of Elvin Bishop
'cause he Fooled Around and Fell in Lava
If you got married and they didn’t play “she’s some kind of wonderful” at the reception did you really get married?
I was wondering if I should go to work today, and then I saw some guys putting up a giant rectangle along the highway.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun was
And then it dawned on me.
Wonder how Gin Morrison would look like!
I finished reading Bon Jovi’s biography and had the wonderful chance to ask him if he actually did the stuff in his biography.
He just shrugged and said it’s my life
Ever wonder the gender of an ant? Do the water test.
If it sinks it’s a girl ant. If it floats however...
Ever wonder what happened to the Jolly Green Giant?
Do you ever wonder if a cow thinks her calf who won't nurse.....
Is an utter disappointment?
Ever wondered why they call it the funny bone?
because its next to the humerus.
After mathematicians wondered for many years about the rational numbers, they realised there's more!
It's the most wonderful thyme of the year...
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger and bigger
I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger
I was wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger...
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