"I have no idea," the captain says, "but he goes nuts every year when we pass him."
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
You look for fresh prints
I was quicker to the draw.
.....if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.
Turkey says "blulululu awesome, bring me a Kevin!"
He was a Bounty hunter.
New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.
Others, whenever they go.
uno the rules,its time to die
“I didn’t know you spoke German!” he replied
Except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.
Hopalong Flaccidy.
I yelled “Bison!”
He looked back at me, waved, and said “bye dad!”
Poor kid never even saw the Buffalo before he got speared...
He practices yakupuncture.
Man....we were wild .
The sheriff decided that he needed to stop them so he rounded up his deputies and they rode out in search of the gang.
After a couple of days everyone was tired and hungry so one of the deputies rode up to sheriff and said “Look sheriff we are all too tired, why don’t you guys rest up here and I’ll ride 4 miles north and two miles east and see if I can’t find us some grub?, I’ll be back by morning”
The sheriff agrees and off the deputy rides 4 miles north and two miles east.
The next morning the deputy returns with all his packs full of bacon! The sheriff says “where the hell did you get all that bacon out here in the middle of nowhere!”
Deputy says “well you see sheriff I rode 4 miles north and 2 miles east and I swear to god there’s this bacon tree just sitting there! A tree that is full of bacon!”
“Bullshit!” Says the sheriff “you stay here I’m going to check this out!”
So off the sheriff rides the same as the deputy did.
The next morning the deputy see’s the sheriff crawling towards the camp with arrows sticking out of his back.
Deputy says to the sheriff “ Boss what the hell happened!”
The sheriff looks up from the ground and says “BACON TREE, BACON TREE, that wasn’t a damn bacon tree you idiot it was a Hambush!”
I didn't really like it at first, but I have to say it's really grown on me.
I hope it won’t be a John Dough forever.
My reply without missing a beat — you’ll be able to buy it, you just won’t be able to buy it rare.
That idea was immediately shot down
It yakked on his shoes!
But that'd just be a huge boar-fest.
