British people be like: I'm bri ish

I guess they drank the t

👍︎ 14k
💬︎
👤︎ u/NGBNM
📅︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I work at Subway

Yesterday a lady was wondering what type of cheese she should put on her sub so I recommended the Swiss cheese because, as I put it, "The Swiss cheese is always really neutral".

The worst part is she didn't even laugh.

👍︎ 2k
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Embarrased my 15yo daughter today at McDs

Ordered a cafe mocha at a ghetto McDs. African American "Barrista" asks me "you want the chocolate drizzle?"

I replied: "drizzle my nizzle" in the most white snoop dogg voice i could muster.

Barrista laughed. Daughter shrank. I then held my head high for the rest of the day. F'n proud was I.

👍︎ 2k
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Had my first dad joke at dinner tonight.

Dad - "These burgers have gouda cheese on them, and those have white American on them."

Me - "These burgers are gouda, but THOSE burgers are bedda"

👍︎ 20
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 05 2015
🚨︎ report
Matching socks last night

I got to match all of the socks with my wife watching last night, because she hates that job with a passion.

Wife: And that's why I like colored socks. The matches are easy to see.

Me: I think they prefer the term African American socks.

Wife: I am going to stab you in your sleep. You are an idiot.

Me: I know

Wife: When you are done with the white socks, help me with the kids colored socks.

Me: I told you they prefer the term African American socks.

Wife: Why did I marry you?

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/unclerudy
📅︎ Nov 24 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.