Husband: Nut n Honey
Wife: No really, what?
(Sounds like "Nothing honey")
Credit: Kelloggs commercial
About six feet.
My dad really said this to me just now.
>Hey there son, whatcha got there?
Soy milk.
>Hola milk, soy tu padre.
So I was looking in the fridge and my dad was sitting at the table
Dad: "What are you up to"
Me: "Nothing...."
Dad: "aren't you up to 5'7? "
I laughed so much harder than I should have
*Dad is hammering around in the garage*
Son: Whatcha doing?
Dad: I'm thinking about playing in heavy metal band
I'm dreading itβ¦
My dad: whatcha doin
Me: looking at Reddit
My dad: what are you doing if you already read it
Me: "I dunno how I'll feel about it"
Her: "Whatcha mean?"
Me: "I'm not sure how I'll feel about kids who will only be half right"
Her: "..."
Me: "But it's okay I guess because they'll be half left too"
Her: "Oh my goodness"
So I could name her Herschel Walker.
When I was younger I used to ask my dad "Whatcha makin for dinner" and he would (every time) exclaim "WHAT, A JAMAICIAN FOR DINNER" Made me laugh everytime.
Dad: Whatcha reading?
Me: Reddit
Dad: Why you readin it if you already reddit?
Me: "Hey Dad, what's in the box?"
Dad: "That box? Nah that's just a box of trash! I found it on the side of the road!"
Me: "Really! C'mon Dad, whatcha get?"
Dad: "I'm telling you, it's a box of trash!"
My dad has never failed to use this line any time he gets that mysterious white box of baked goods (be it crumb cake, donuts, or cinnamon buns), and it's never failed to make me run immediately to the box to see what was really in it.
My dad walks in, and I hollar, "Whatcha up to Dad?" Dad: "Oh about 5"7 and still growing!" Facepalms insue.
Dad is on couch watching Tv, I peek my head in the room
Me: Whatcha watchin?
Dad: A show on Somalis' (the show showed a boat and some waves)
M:confused You mean like Somalians like the African people? Pretty intense stuff.
D: No no, Somalis, you know, they're huge! come in and wipe everything out.
M: Dad, you probably shouldn't say that about people. It isn't nice.
D: No, SOMALIS.
at this point I have absolutely no idea what he's talking about and so I decide to watch and figure it out for myself.
M: JESUS DAD YOU MEAN TSUNAMIS!!!
D: Yeah, Tsunamis!
M: Somalis are people from the country of Somalia. They are very poor and known for having a lot of pirates.
D: I bet they also have Somalis
M: Probably.
My girlfriend and I don't live together yet so we text a lot about just whatever this is how it went down.
Me: so whatcha up to?
Her: I'm alright. Just really cold in my bed watching frozen
Me: Maybe you should be watching melted then.
