My nephew said he was trying to help out when he spilled a bucket of water from the hole in the ground...

I knew he meant well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/celticdude234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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I had a small water bucket, but the other day it just wasn't feeling that well.

In fact, it was a little pail

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2017
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My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill....

So, I sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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1. Blue plastic bucket for watering, car-washing, etc. 2. Red plastic bucket for mopping floors, cleanup from painting, plumbing disasters. 3. Green metal pail for compostable table scraps.

...and that's my Bucket List.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
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On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.

She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that he’s cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. She’s puzzled for a second and then says:

Icy, what you did there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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A Dad joke from my roommate.

Jesus was with Peter at a gathering (or something), and pointed to a bucket filled to the brim with water.

β€œDo you see that bucket over there, Peter?” Jesus asked.

β€œYes, what about it?” Peter replied.

β€œI can turn it into wine.”

β€œNo way!” Peter said, astonished.

Jesus smiled, β€œYahweh.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObscureWhistle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Just now w/my daughter at Zupas I gasped and pointed behind the cashier and said β€œoh no...

you have a leek” she spun around looking for water. Then she saw the bucket of produce. She was not amused πŸ˜’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/8bagels
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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My dad got me good

Context: Lately our ceiling has been leaking so we've put a bucket on the floor to keep all the water in one place

So I was coming down the stairs while using my phone and without looking where I was going, absentmindedly tripped over the bucket, letting the water stored go everywhere. My dad comes rushing in to see what all the noise was about because I had just made quite the ruckus. After telling him what happened, he slowly put two fingers on my neck as to check my pulse. I ask what he's doing and he replies "I'm just making sure my son is okay, he just kicked the bucket," He was very proud of himself for it and got a chuckle out of me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gideonthecat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2015
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My dad is a water filtration plant operator.

I was trying to level a bucket of water but the table was not level. He said, "I forgot to turn the water stabilizers on last night."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rehtycs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
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My dad liked to ask all of my friends growing up this question.

Dad: What's the difference between a bucket of water and a bucket of poop?

Friend: I'm not sure what?

Dad: Well I'm definitely not sending you after a bucket of water.

Laughs hysterically as he walks away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thromok
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2013
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Doesn't translate as well on text, but my Dad's Dad always says this joke..

One time a Dam man went to drink the Dam water. He was all out of Dam water so he went and got his Dam bucket to fill it up with Dam water from the Dam well. His Dam well was empty, so he went to another Dam man to get Dam water. He asked the Dam man," Can I have some Dam water, Please?" The Dam man Replied, "Get your own Dam water!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/poloteam420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2013
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