TDIH: March 2, 537, Siege of Rome: The Ostrogoth army under king Vitiges begins the siege of the capital. Belisarius conducts a delaying action outside the Flaminian Gate; he and a detachment of his bucellarii are almost cut off. Illustration: Quarter siliqua of Vitiges.
TDIH: April 9, 537, Siege of Rome: The Byzantine general Belisarius receives his promised reinforcements, 1,600 cavalry, mostly of Hunnic or Slavic origin and expert bowmen. He starts, despite shortages, raids against the Gothic camps and Vitiges is forced into a stalemate.
TDIH: March 12, 538, Vitiges, king of the Ostrogoths ends his siege of Rome and retreats to Ravenna, leaving the city in the hands of the victorious Byzantine general, Belisarius. Illustration: Quarter siliqua of Vitiges.
TDIH: March 21, 537, King Vitiges attempts to assault the northern and eastern city walls, but is repulsed at the Praenestine Gate, known as the Vivarium, by the defenders under the Byzantine generals Bessas and Peranius during the Siege of Rome.
britannica.com/event/Sieg…
TDIH: March 2, 537, Siege of Rome: The Ostrogoth army under king Vitiges begins the siege of the capital. Belisarius conducts a delaying action outside the Flaminian Gate; he and a detachment of his bucellarii are almost cut off.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sie…
TDIH: April 9, 537, The Byzantine general Belisarius receives his promised reinforcements, 1,600 cavalry, mostly of Hunnic or Slavic origin and expert bowmen. He starts, despite shortages, raids against the Gothic camps and Vitiges is forced into a stalemate during the Siege of Rome.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bel…
SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!
This subreddit is 10 years old now.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
What starts with a W and ends with a T
What do you call quesadillas you eat in the morning?
What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?
I wanna hear your best airplane puns.
These aren't dad jokes...
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.
I won't be doing that today!
I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth.
What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?
Nothing, he was gladiator.
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?
You take away their little brooms
I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
It this sub dead?
There hasn't been a post all year!
Letting loose with these puns
All dad jokes are bad and here’s why
My name is ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
Why are people so surprised and angry about Djokovic being an anti-vaxxer?
After all his first name is No-vac
If Korean pop is shortened to Kpop and Korean Drama is Kdrama...
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
Is this sub still active?
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
What did the ocean say to the beach?
My 9 year old son just asked me to pretend I was a police officer arresting him for downloading the entire Wikipedia. Me: Young man, you're under arrest for downloading the entire Wikipedia!
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a hot tub?
I named my dog "5 miles."
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
My WIFI password is 2444666668888888
Just to clarify, 12345678
Possibly the greatest Snap Reaction dad joke I've ever told (it even got me a POWERFUL groan and vehement FU from my wife)
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!"
Her: "What the hell does that mean?!"
Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I can't believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician...
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
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