Vining Puns

A list of puns related to "Vining"

My dad asked for power tools for his birthday, so I bought him a grape vine.

It came with tendrils

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👤︎ u/moorda
📅︎ Nov 13 2021
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About how they miss vine
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👤︎ u/michealxlr
📅︎ Feb 07 2021
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Tim vine is in my opinion the king of dad jokes.

He’s made a entire career out of Christmas cracker jokes and somehow still makes me laugh.

https://youtu.be/HCn9lkazxjk

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👤︎ u/james32000
📅︎ Apr 23 2021
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I knew a great gardener.

He had trouble with flowers. His patience was growing a little thin. He keeps Vining to know Rye. The answer is a little seedling.

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👤︎ u/StatusFancy
📅︎ Oct 25 2021
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De vine wine puns between my husband and I
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👤︎ u/Stokesy6th
📅︎ Dec 09 2019
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Tarzan's last words

"Who greased the vine?"

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👤︎ u/wimpykidfan37
📅︎ Oct 14 2021
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He who make mistake on elevator

Wrong on many levels

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👤︎ u/Kablaaw
📅︎ Aug 28 2021
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I met the inventor of the windowsill the other day...

What a ledge!

Credit: Tim Vine

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👤︎ u/KeyOutlandishness850
📅︎ Sep 17 2021
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe, damn it! Breathe!

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👤︎ u/Rocknocker
📅︎ Oct 07 2020
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A small garden bird made out of mahogany, it would be great if I had a joke about this...

Wooden tit.

(Credit Tim Vine)

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👤︎ u/The-Guvnor
📅︎ Nov 08 2021
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Aldi
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👤︎ u/BBalazs03
📅︎ Aug 17 2020
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What do you call a baby growing on a vine?

A human bean.

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👤︎ u/tyrannosaur85
📅︎ Jan 06 2020
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10 Minutes of Puns: Tim Vine - One Night Stand youtube.com/watch?v=00dFz…
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👤︎ u/AlphaBetaParkingLot
📅︎ Aug 16 2014
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I haven't seen him much but I thought /r/puns would like to have The Punslinger, Tim Vine, on here
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👤︎ u/Peter_L_
📅︎ Jul 30 2014
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Do you know why there are no pirates in Kansas?

Because they’re all in AR-Kansas.

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👤︎ u/Cheesydoodlers
📅︎ Mar 09 2021
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A grape falls off a vine and dries...

Everything happens for a raisin.

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👤︎ u/FaZe_Yangers
📅︎ Jan 16 2019
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How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it

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👤︎ u/p_tally
📅︎ Apr 27 2021
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8yo nephew's an early bloomer. Gets home, tells his dad, "There was a kidnaping at school today." Dad: "What!?!" 8yo, dead serious, -

"It's okay, dad... He woke up." Doesn't even smile. Walks away.

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👤︎ u/NemoKozeba
📅︎ Aug 18 2019
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This afternoon I pulled two fat gourds from the same vine...

They were plumpkin

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👤︎ u/SiLifino
📅︎ Oct 30 2018
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I said to the gym instructor, “Can you teach me to do the splits?”

He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.” (h/t Tim Vine)

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👤︎ u/zu-den-sternen
📅︎ Jul 12 2021
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A daughter is dressed in a grape vine suit where the grapes are made of balloons for Halloween...

The dad says, “I bet if you pop one of those balloons she’ll let out a little wine.”

His wife just rolled her eyes and went back to watching her daughter, while the dad laughed to himself.

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👤︎ u/DogsGoBork
📅︎ Jun 06 2018
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I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday.

I’ll tell you what, never again. (h/t Tim Vine)

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👤︎ u/zu-den-sternen
📅︎ Jul 10 2021
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BatDad has 4 children and makes Vines wearing a batman mask. [X-post from /r/videos] youtube.com/watch?v=YlVi0…
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👤︎ u/StartWatch
📅︎ Sep 20 2013
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Growing tomatoes is so quick and easy I could do it on a Vine.
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👤︎ u/SemenDemonNiggerTits
📅︎ Feb 24 2015
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Vines Are Creepy

Vines Are Creepy

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👤︎ u/Idkjustletmeregister
📅︎ Jul 22 2014
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Today I found out black pepper comes from a vine

Weird cos the label says it comes from the ground.

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👤︎ u/Obamathellamafarma
📅︎ May 17 2017
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I made this. Do you hate me yet?
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👤︎ u/Lianrhod
📅︎ Aug 05 2020
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The funniest joke at this year's Edinburgh Fringe by Tim Vine.

I've decided to sell my Hoover ... well, it was just collecting dust

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👤︎ u/paula_sutton
📅︎ Aug 20 2014
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Ten solid minutes of dad jokes courtesy of the great Tim Vine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00dFzPbzOws

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👤︎ u/mr-tibbs
📅︎ Nov 20 2014
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Tim Vine on Live at the Apollo youtube.com/watch?v=VPaZf…
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👤︎ u/Eoin_McLove
📅︎ Jun 18 2011
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There are dad jokes all over Vine. vinescope.com/banana-phon…
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👤︎ u/Phib1618
📅︎ Nov 24 2013
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I nominate Tim Vine as our patron saint. youtube.com/watch?v=00dFz…
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👤︎ u/ayedfy
📅︎ Oct 24 2013
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I'm really surprised that Tim Vine isn't a dad. youtube.com/watch?v=QZJyu…
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👤︎ u/letshaveawank
📅︎ Oct 30 2013
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Tim Vine is a standup comedian that tells almost exclusively dad jokes.

If you'd like to watch a video of him, here's one, or you could watch him on youtube.

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👤︎ u/DulceyDooner
📅︎ Mar 28 2014
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A traffic cop went to the trouble of leaving a note under the wipers to let me know I'd positioned my car correctly.

It said "Parking fine". So that was nice.

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👤︎ u/Onegodoneloveoneway
📅︎ Apr 05 2017
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I got my own private jet

The rest of the jacuzzi belongs to my wife.

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👤︎ u/XiKiilzziX
📅︎ Jun 28 2014
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My dog Minton just ate my shuttlecock

Bad Minton!

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👤︎ u/MetropolitanPig666
📅︎ Sep 30 2016
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Liam Nissan
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👤︎ u/TheSamuraiMai
📅︎ Jul 25 2017
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I just put my grandma on speed-dial...

I call that Instagram.

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👤︎ u/glyph-bellchime
📅︎ Jun 06 2018
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How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it

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👤︎ u/peacemaker127
📅︎ May 07 2020
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