Anyone have any good puns about vines?
Red houses are made of red bricks, blue houses are made of blue bricks, what are green houses made of?
They arrested my neighbor for wearing too much purple.
Apparently he was prone to violet behavior.
Today a man tragically drowned in a bowl of muesli
He was pulled under by a strong currant.
I recently received a jacket made out of vines as a present.
At first I was a bit baffled, but it’s growing on me.
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear?
My dad asked for power tools for his birthday, so I bought him a grape vine.
Why do the Pope's grapes taste so good?
Why does Tarzan travel by vine?
Because he can't drive a stick.
What's the difference between an archeologist and a architect?
An archeologist can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to grow vines.
what do you call an artifical cow?
What did the grape say when someone stepped on it?
Nothing, but he let out a little wine.
What’s the difference between a cucumber and a pickle?
Why have grape prices gone up?
There was a raisin demand.
I’m selling my vacuum cleaner
It was just collecting dust
De vine wine puns between my husband and I
I was on the phone to my doctor and told him I think I’ve contracted monkeypox and could I make an appointment to see him.
He told me to swing by tomorrow.
I was on a call and we were introducing ourselves...
Me :: "Hi, my name is Michael, with a 'B', and I'm allergic to insects."
Coworker :: "Where's the 'B'"?
Me :: "There's a bee?? Where?!"
I’ve started telling people about the benefits of dried grapes.
It’s all about raisin awareness.
After Jack planted the magic beans, his mother hated how her beautiful cottage was now overshadowed by a huge, green, tendril-covered trunk. However, over time, she eventually came to love the mystical plant.
This is known as “stalk-home syndrome”
I seen a radio for sale for $1, and it had a note saying volume was stuck at full.
I just knew I couldn’t turn that down.
What do you call a bottle of wine with a sense of humor?
I haven't seen him much but I thought /r/puns would like to have The Punslinger, Tim Vine, on here
how does a priest make holy water?
.
.
.
.
He boils the hell out of it!😇
Did you hear about the Dutch guy who wore inflatable shoes?
He went for a run and popped his clogs.
(Told by the inimitable Tim Vine as he entertained Scott Mills who was running for 24h to raise money for Children in Need. Find out more and give generously, if you’re able.)
I was fishing in a lake of orange soda and thought to myself:
Is this the reel life, or is this just Fanta-sea?
I made this. Do you hate me yet?
Do you know why there are no pirates in Kansas?
Because they’re all in AR-Kansas.
What do you call a baby growing on a vine?
He who make mistake on elevator
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
Jane asked Tarzan if it was ok if she swung with him through the jungle
"Vine by me." he replied.
I wish I had twelve boobs, but that sounds kinda weird.
I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life?
What do you call land where you can’t grow a vineyard?
A grape falls off a vine and dries...
Everything happens for a raisin.
I saw an old car radio for sale today for $1 with note which said, "volume broken.".
I thought to myself, " wow I can't turn that down.".
Was gonna be Tarzan for Halloween
but I didn't want to go out on a limb.
Growing tomatoes is so quick and easy I could do it on a Vine.
A daughter is dressed in a grape vine suit where the grapes are made of balloons for Halloween...
The dad says, “I bet if you pop one of those balloons she’ll let out a little wine.”
His wife just rolled her eyes and went back to watching her daughter, while the dad laughed to himself.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it
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