what did the vertebrae said when it stepped into the front door?

hye, I'm back!

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👤︎ u/muztucen
📅︎ Sep 20 2020
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How did Ayn Rand's C1 vertebrae become misaligned?

Atlas Shrugged.

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📅︎ Sep 15 2020
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Did you hear about the cervical vertebrae that threw up on a ship?

He was C6.

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📅︎ Feb 24 2019
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To attract new visitors, the Museum of Natural History ran a promotion where they gave away actual dinosaur vertebrae from their collection.

Everyone was taken aback.

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📅︎ Oct 20 2018
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Vertebraes should be called Vertebros...

Because they always got your back.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jun 02 2021
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What kind of bra do you wear on your back?

Vertebra

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📅︎ Feb 16 2021
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Normal back:

Normal back: Degenerates over time Suspect vertebra Makes life beyond 30 a living hell

Backstreets back: Alright

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👤︎ u/gross04
📅︎ Jan 23 2020
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The best joke my dad ever told

My dad is really proud of this one. It's the only joke he's ever told that's been funny enough to make somebody laugh so hard that they spit out of their nose. It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for this joke, so let me give you some context first:

He's been in a motorcycle accident (hit and run by an illegal immigrant), and had to have most of his vertebrae fused. They use titanium rods to hold your back from bending, so as you can imagine its kind of a major operation. His doctor prescribed a year (or longer if needed) of massage therapy, which he was thankful for. Twice a week he went in to a small clinic for a few hours at a time, and usually had the same masseuse. Let's call her Marge.

After four months of therapy they of course got to know each other very well. He was always faithful to my mother, but he was good friends with Marge. Their conversations range all the way from baseball to differentials, and everything stays platonic.

Here's where the story begins:

During a massage, they are having an energetic conversation, the time comes where he turns onto his back so that she can get to his knee ligaments (chainsawed his kneecap a few years prior, doc said may as well get there too). She goes at it like normal, and the conversation continues. Now here comes the part that made my dad wait to tell me this until recently: The "stimulation" in his knee for some reason, on that day out of all others, triggered a reflexive erection. There was nothing he could do to stop it.

The conversation goes quiet. Marge notices, but doesn't say a word. She remains professional. She continues working. My dad is more embarrassed than he's ever been. Several minutes of silence pass, and my dad cant take it anymore.

"Marge," he says, "I think we need to talk about the elephant in the room."

He raises his head to look down the table at her. He glances at it, then back to her. With a slight shake of his head he says:

"Wait nevermind, it's only his trunk"

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📅︎ Jun 09 2015
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A symphony of groan.

At the dinner table.

Mother in law: "...he has recently had two surgeries to fuse his lower vertebrae, his recovery has been quite slow"

Me: "Well I would expect nothing less after having back to back operations."

after about 4 seconds people started leaving the table.

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👤︎ u/Mactonite
📅︎ Oct 29 2014
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