Why do cannibals like people who vape?

Because they have popcorn lungs!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScarletWoods
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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My dad gave me his vape

He said to guard the family Juul

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abeydube
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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People always ask where I learned my impressive vape tricks.

I studied at Juuliard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-wao
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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Did you know the queen has a vape pen?

She calls it her crown Juul.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pelinets_fan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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The other day I saw a kid wearing a vape as a necklace...

This juulry has gotten out of hand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuiceBoxHero008
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Put that in your vape and smoke it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/asafelobotomy
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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Why smokers are not shouting on roads protesting against the vape ban?

They don't have enough lung capacity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danyk16
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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What do you call an androgynous person who vapes?

Cloudy with a Chance of meatballs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/themasterhooker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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My wife doesn't like it when our 3 year old vapes.

She's prefers that I call it breathing treatments for asthma.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/americangame
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What kind of flowers do you get someone who vapes?

Hazies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rawrlix
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2016
🚨︎ report
Pride and joy
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thehawkplays
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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Doctor to patient do you smoke?

Patient: yes.

Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?

Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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When you think of a witty saying and someone modifies it slightly and theirs is fire...

Close but no vape.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supercman99
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
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I met a vaping vampire.

He called himself Vlad the Inhaler.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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I saw a hipster doing a 5K while vaping at the same time.

In the end, he was running on fumes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: one day you will inherit all these priceless family heirlooms

My dumbass kid: dad these are vape pens

Me: no they are the family juuls

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TongueBandit69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't get vaping while taking a bathroom selfie,

it's all smoke and mirrors to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdmpersson
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
The bro with the tribal tattoos that is blasting Nickleback and is vaping all the time, has an annoying voice.

But it's mostly his axe-scent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad tried to take the phone from me, saying he could get us a better deal on internet.. I hate this man, lol

He took the phone, and said, in the voice of Freddie Mercury, "Is this the wi-fi? Is this just fantasy?...Caught in a landline, we don't need AT&T.." and then passed the phone back. We already have AT&T, and I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH A FRIEND THAT DOES ACCOUNTING?, NOTHING TO DO WITH SOMEONE CALLING OUR HOUSE. No more Crockpot broccoli and cheese soup using weed butter for him. Good god... I'm almost impressed. We also haven't had a landline in years. God bless this small dog weilding, vaping man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cracksniffer666
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
He's SMOKED
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paper-machete56
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Imagine a world where monkeys have given up tobacco.

Planet of the Vapes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spatzekoar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to smoke a turkey this Thanksgiving...

But they banned flavored vapes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnathanesanders
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
PopocatΓ©petl in Mexico is known as The Smoking Mountain.

It’s been smoking now going on fourteen years straight and vaping for the past three.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elon_Muskmelon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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Scientists are creating a world where monkeys are allergic to tobbaco

They're calling it the Planet of the Vapes

(Thanks to Hugh Dennis for this one)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/van_gates
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2017
🚨︎ report
x-post from r/ottawa: our Mayor has the dadjokes.

Recently e-cigs/vapes have been banned on city property and public transit.

Screenshot from Twitter: http://imgur.com/40Sq0qK

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πŸ‘€︎ u/starfishtrooper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2015
🚨︎ report
Took the kids to get their haircuts last night

2 year old tried to open the door to a vape store next to the kids' haircut place.

"Wrong door, bud. That head shop's not for you."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skermy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2015
🚨︎ report
Got my buddy's roomate

Her: does cool vape smoke trick

Family and friends: clapping

Me: "oh look she got the clap" Groans and disturbed faces were made

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πŸ‘€︎ u/illestprodigy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2015
🚨︎ report
Doctor to Patient do you smoke?

Patient: yes

Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?

Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report

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