It was a real paradigm shift.
Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name"!
German kids will always be kinder
Just needs an Apple logo
Oil be back!
I suspect they’ll use antimony.
We've discovered the value of kraut sourcing.
It was a really trivial pursuit.
It’s just another product of inflation
They are only means to an N.
You got a roll with it
❤❤❤ And you're priceless ❤❤❤
It's a Freudian slip
Thanks for nothing
Edit: thanks so much stranger for the silver! My first silver award!
It held sedimentary value
That's why I'm still carrying around these huge daddy-shoes.
/s
So fellow dads, 3.14 is the value of pi and 9.8 is the value of gravity (G) Hmm
Because they are antioxidant.
The gastrointestinal systems success is a complete human waste.
It’s no coincidence.
i look up the coin online and it is worth $6 in mint condition and tell her the value
My mom: we should ask if they’ll negotiate
Me: we should buy it and see if we can flip it.
I’m 16 and fear for my future kids.
Thats's just ab(surd).
The other one is.
I got them for free, but that's way below street value
It's like she doesn't understand the sedimental value!
Because it's in vein.
I work at a shipping company. We'll call it YouPS. Anyway, my coworker, Jose, sees a barbell and asks me, "Why do people order weights in the mail?" I said back to him "I don't know, Jose. I guess they figured they could weight for it."
He just stared with anger as I laughed too hard to myself.
One of the techs did a stand up comedy routine. The humor wasn’t very funny, it mostly went for shock value.
They're full of li 's
When he got there, a woman extended her hand.
"Good afternoon, sir," she said. "My name is Patricia Wack. How may I help you today?"
Kermit replied, "Hi-ho, Patricia! I'm Kermit the Frog, and I would like to borrow some money."
They walked over to her desk and sat down.
"Certainly, Mr. Frog--"
"Oh, just call me Kermit."
"Okay... Kermit. How much money would you like to borrow?"
"Ten thousand dollars."
Mildly surprised, Ms. Wack looked intently at Kermit.
"Do you have any references?"
"Well, I suppose I could use my father, Keith Richards."
Ms. Wack froze for a second, then...
"THE Keith Richards?"
"Oh, yes. In fact, he told me he's friends with your manager, which is why I came in here."
"Okay... Do you have any collateral?"
"Excuse me?"
"Collateral. Something of value, like a car, or a boat..."
"Oh, yes! I do have something. I have this."
Kermit reached into his briefcase and placed a small figurine on the desk. Patricia looked curiously at the object, then at our amphibious friend.
"What's this?"
"It's a Hummel."
"A what?"
"A Hummel. They're supposed to be quite valuable. Well, at least this one is to me."
She picked up the Hummel and stood up.
"If you don't mind, I would like to show this to the manager."
"Oh, no! I don't mind at all!"
So, Patricia took the Hummel to the manager's office, knocked on the door, and walked inside.
"Patricia! What can I do for you?"
"Mr. Wilson, there's this... frog named Kermit at my desk, and he wants to borrow $10,000, but he has only this for collateral."
Mr. Wilson looked at the Hummel, then out to her desk.
"I don't see anything out of order here."
"But, Mr. Wilson--"
"Look, it's a knick-knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
No one would re-fuse that!
- Said by my brother-in-law to my uncle before Christmas dinner.
gutentight
