When a woman is no longer sexual aroused, what happens to the “wetness”? Does it get absorbed back into the vagina, dry out gradually, or does it all leak out of the vagina?
Hey guys disclaimer: this post is not explicitly related to bdsm dynamics. It is related in that I partake in aspects and dynamics of bdsm in my sex life and I am having issues and need a sounding board.
I(26f) am having a lot of trouble with vaginal lubrication. Normally this wouldn't be such an issue but my partner is very well endowed and I am getting minor tears from intercourse. We stop when we notice it and take some time off but it's really messing with my head. I have always had trouble climaxing. Partly physical partly psychological but I've never struggled so much with lubrication. It's getting in the way of being able to enjoy anything sexual.
I've got two toddlers and breastfed so I've already lost quite a bit of sensation in my erogenous zones which means foreplay doesn't always help get me there. I just don't know what to do. I don't smoke anymore, I rarely drink...I'm just at a loss and hoping someone here might have helpful input. TIA
TLDR: I am only rarely getting wet enough naturally now; this is new for me. I am experiencing a feeling of low self-worth and guilt as a result. I don't like the mess and stickiness of lube. I'm now turned off sex. I need help, this is affecting my marriage.
BACKGROUND:
I grew up in a repressive, overly religious environment but have been sex positive all of my adult life. I've had a mix of long-term, monogamous relationships and casual sex, FWB scenarios. I've had some issues surrounding my self-esteem and appearance, but I've usually done well at putting those aside when it was time to get to business, as I'm pretty enthusiastic about sex and enjoy it.
Getting naturally wet has never been a problem for me. Usually I would be sufficiently wet from "minor" things (some steamy words, a passionate look, etc), and definitely so from foreplay like kissing and giving oral. I have always got a sense of satisfaction and pleasure at this – guys always respond so well when they find out "you're wet for them". I always felt so flushed with excitement and eagerness when I felt myself getting wet – it made PIV (which I adore) feel so right.
WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW:
My husband and I have been together over seven years, married for three and a half. We're monogamous. I've never had problems getting wet with him, until the past year or two. And my hangups about this fact have been developing over the past 8 months or so. Initially I was able to shrug off not getting wet to just "one of those things"; maybe I didn't drink enough water or was in a drier part of my cycle. So we would grab some lube and make do with that. Or maybe we would extend foreplay until I was finally wet enough – usually because I don't particularly like lube and also think it kills the mood.
Unfortunately my problems with vaginal dryness are getting so frequent now that it's a rarity for me to get wet on my own. I am now so stressed and worried about whether or not I'll get wet that I am filled with anxiety just thinking about having sex with my husband, and probably this negative thought cycle is making the problem worse. During foreplay I am constantly checking, "am I wet yet?" and get more and more discouraged the longer I'm not.
I feel like I'm not "woman" enough, not sexy enough. I feel less interested in sex because my body isn't "behaving". I worry that it affects his perception of our relationship, that he'll feel like he doesn't turn me on, and will therefore be more likely to cheat,
... keep reading on reddit ➡I am an 18 year old female who hasn't had any sexual intercourse. I'm worried because for a while now my vagina has been dry. I haven't been having lubrication/discharge. It's been a week or so after my period has ended. For a couple of days now I've been uncomfortable down there. No matter how I adjust down there it's felt dry and uncomfortable. To the lower part of the entrance to my vaginal opening, to the inner labia to the clitoris. I'm not really informed/educated on sexual education or my own vagina system since I wasn't taught properly when I was younger so I apologize if I seem like an idiot at this sort of stuff. I just really need help. After having some privacy with my privates, I've had no lubrication coming from my vagina. Please help and I deeply apologize if this was to much information. I just really need help. Thank you.
Has anyone noticed DIM effecting their hormones in a way that prevents normal everyday and/or sexual vaginal lubrication?
