Twanging Puns

An Amish driveby.

I walk in the living room and the TV shows hail pounding down and covering a yard like snow.

My dad says, "This is in Texas, how could they get so much hail down there?"

"Hail, I don't know," with a southern twang.

My dad and I do asbestos removal on natural gas pipelines. The people we were working for were debating if they needed us to stick around for them to expose another pipe or not. They decided that we could just come back another day. My dad then says to the guys in his fake southern twang he puts on every time we work outside of Chicago, "It's a dang good thing you guys decided against us staying. My truck seems to work fine during the Day, but every time I shift to N for night time mode it doesn't seem to want to go anywhere. I'd hate to get stuck out here." All of the older guys loved it and I just stared and shook my head.