A toothless old lady in hospital always gave away the peanuts she was given by her visitors to the nurses to eat.

One day a nurse asked her why she didn't ask for grapes instead of nuts.She replied that you can't get grapes with chocolate coating!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glezgatoon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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I've got a pedigree toothless Norwegian Blue Parrot I want to enter in competitions

I hope it sucks seeds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamsternoir
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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A toothless termite walks into a bar

And asks "Is the bar tender here?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingadod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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They have a toothless grizzly at the zoo

Biggest gummy bear you’ll ever see

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrStinkpinkyPhD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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A toothless termite walks into a bar...

He sits down, looks around and asks the guy beside him "hey, where's the bar tender?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/homesick_hobo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2016
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Why does the toothless budgie always win?

It suckseeds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Notknow-knotnow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2016
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This Joke Lacks Bite

There are rumors of yet another Bill and Ted Sequel following the one in production. Reportedly, it will feature an older, toothless Keanu Reeves who is fighting with his insurance company.

Yeah, the working title: Billin' Ted for Bogus Dentures.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/P33J
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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Those darn hillbillies!

I heard some banjo music off in the distance. Some time later, there's a knock at my door. Staring through the peephole, I see two toothless hillbillies. One has a shotgun, the other has a frozen pizza.

Frightened, I barricade myself inside the apartment. I tell them to go away, that I'm calling the police.

That's when one of the hillbillies spoke up and said, "Aw, come on! It's not Deliverance, it's DiGiorno!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alc6379
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2015
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Got my first dad joke laugh

Feeding my 7 1/2 month old (meaning a full body experience for anyone in a 5' radius) she unexpectedly hit me in the face and then started giggling...

Me: Are you going to be the queen of slapstick comedy?

Her: Big toothless grin

Me: Because your slap was sticky

Her: HA! Giggle, giggle, giggle

Wife: HA! Dadjoke!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coachlasso
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
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Curses! sfw

dadgummit!

You say to your toothless father.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuxedo_Muffin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2016
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Rewatching How to Train Your Dragon with my wife

During the scene where Astrid first flies on Toothless, my wife pointed out that Toothless is adorable and romantic. I said "Yeah, he's one hell of a wingman."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaltimoreBirdGuy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2015
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A toothless termite walks in to a bar and asks

Is the bar tender here?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkLuke7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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The toothless termite goes up to a bar and asks,

"Is the bar tender here?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StraightBollocks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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