Toothless Puns

I hope it sucks seeds

And asks "Is the bar tender here?"

Biggest gummy bear you’ll ever see

He sits down, looks around and asks the guy beside him "hey, where's the bar tender?"

It suckseeds

There are rumors of yet another Bill and Ted Sequel following the one in production. Reportedly, it will feature an older, toothless Keanu Reeves who is fighting with his insurance company.

Yeah, the working title: Billin' Ted for Bogus Dentures.

I heard some banjo music off in the distance. Some time later, there's a knock at my door. Staring through the peephole, I see two toothless hillbillies. One has a shotgun, the other has a frozen pizza.

Frightened, I barricade myself inside the apartment. I tell them to go away, that I'm calling the police.

That's when one of the hillbillies spoke up and said, "Aw, come on! It's not Deliverance, it's DiGiorno!"

Feeding my 7 1/2 month old (meaning a full body experience for anyone in a 5' radius) she unexpectedly hit me in the face and then started giggling...

Me: Are you going to be the queen of slapstick comedy?

Her: Big toothless grin

Me: Because your slap was sticky

Her: HA! Giggle, giggle, giggle

Wife: HA! Dadjoke!

dadgummit!

You say to your toothless father.

During the scene where Astrid first flies on Toothless, my wife pointed out that Toothless is adorable and romantic. I said "Yeah, he's one hell of a wingman."

Is the bar tender here?

"Is the bar tender here?"