I was caught cheating in a big tongue-twister tournament

The judge is bound to give me a tough sentence

πŸ‘︎ 407
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pollworker54
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you turn your tongue into a superhero?

You just bite it really hard. It will become Thor.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank coffee before it was cool.

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiosMioMan2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the hipster burn his tongue on a piece of pizza?

He ate it before it was cool

πŸ‘︎ 150
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toku-Nation
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
The world tongue twister champion just got arrested.

I heard they're going to give him a really tough sentence...

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
World renowned tongue twister champion was officially charged in court today

They gave him a tough sentence. He got off better than his accomplice, The semi-colon, who is in between two complete sentences.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skycooper11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I'd like to tell you my favorite tongue-twister.

But it's hard to say.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Tongue, Teeth, Saliva, Roof, Soft Palate, Hard Palate, Uvuula, Taste Buds, Gums...

Wow, that was really a mouthful...

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The O.Henry Pun-Off is back β€œON!” - Tongues of puns linger
  • Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museum’s famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings they’ve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
  • Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
  • Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.

[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition

This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.

The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words you’ve ever heard.

The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpcombs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A pun that really flows off the tongue
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sandbag747
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A lobster and a shrimp opened a highly expensive pufferfish shop.

I guess selfish shellfish sell swell fish.

πŸ‘︎ 328
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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Police have arrested the world tongue-twister champion

If found guilty he'll be given a real tough sentence

πŸ‘︎ 273
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Norse god of thunder say after biting his tongue during an intense weight-lifting session?

Man, I'm thor.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know a cat’s tongue is rough?

You’d think it’d be meow.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Limelight_019283
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is it my mother tongue and not my father tongue?

Because my mom doesn't allow my dad to say anything

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moiKeshav
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My dog cut his tongue.

Now he's got a crease in his pants.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InterwebWeasel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Sitting in the ER with my son last night, he got me with this one. I was trying to lift his spirits and was pointing out all the crazy equipment they have in the room. I said "Oh look. They have tongue depressers." He says "Those won't work on me." I asked why and he says...

"I'm on antidepressants."

He's going in for surgery at 3:30pm Pacific. All your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and omg for the gold! He's out of surgery and looks to be recovering nicely. All your well wishes helped cheer him and his parents up.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebikerdad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Isn’t it weird how cats tongues are so rough

You’d think they’d be meow

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kalebsantos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Is there some way to describe reading Braille incorrectly?

The words are right on the tip of my tongue.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trajan_Optimus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
My sister just lost her tongue in a bad accident.

I wanted to make a joke out of it, but I think it would be very tasteless.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I cut my tongue so badly it needs surgery to fix!

I can't tell you how much it hurts!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A joke from my daughter: Where does a tongue go to drop off its old clothes?

The Salivation Army

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KidRadicchio
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
If you say β€œgullible” 5 times

Your tongue goes numb.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/havenotredditt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I recently tried on some new shoes and I told the salesman they felt a bit snug. He told me to try pulling the tongue.

β€œOK,” I said, β€œbuth I don’th know how thith will helpth”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlucasr
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What is made of leather, a foot long and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HydrosFear
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I said hi to the sea

It just waved

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jamie-brittain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don't people who eat ass make good taste testers?

Their tongues have been TAINTed!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beastocity1089
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Cats in Communist countries are forced to eat the same thing every day and it affects their health!

Now they all have Mousey Tongue.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomoz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Who ever taught my kids to hold their tongue and say things......

You were born on a pirate ship.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beergelden
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What made the tongue sad at the doctor’s office?

The doctor brought out the tongue depressor

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/El-Waffle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Tip of my tongue

Guys, help me out here. I can't remember the name of this old action movie. Bilbo Baggins has to stop a terrorist plot and save his wife in the Nakatomi Towers. Oh, that's it.

Old Hobbits Die Hard.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigchefpeter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the hipster burn his tongue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.

I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_kefir
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The world tongue twister champion got arrested

I hear they are going to give a really tough sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonp27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Police have arrested the world tongue twister champion...

...they say he will be given a tough sentence

πŸ‘︎ 215
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evac95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he ate the pizza before it was cool 😎

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Police have arrested the world tongue-twister champion.

They said he'll be given a tough sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
They recently arrested the world tongue twister champion

I imagine they'll give him a long sentence

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imagoblinshark
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the hipster burn his tongue?

He sipped his coffee before it was cool

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blamethedog16
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

He ate his breakfast before it was cool.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/katayda13
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister just lost her tongue in a bad accident.

I wanted to make a joke out of it, but I think it would be very tasteless.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ashwinvias
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
🚨︎ report
How did the hipster burn their tongue?

Ate their meal before it was cool.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Binger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion.

I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the hipster burn his tongue?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
🚨︎ report
My sister just lost her tongue in a bad accident.

I wanted to make a joke out of it, but I think it would be very tasteless.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kajinator
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
How do shoes taste?

With their tongues

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/benswimmin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report

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