Did you know in Germany the Tom Cruise movie β€˜The Firm’ is the sequel to Die Hard?

Die Firma

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maximumfunpriv
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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If Tom Cruise owned a liquor store, what would he call it?

Whiskey Business

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Olaffubbuffalo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Does Tom Cruise look like this?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hicxs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Tom Cruise is minute.

That's what I named my pet Amphibian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/orduk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
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If Tom Cruise and Terry Crews sold tickets for a meet and greet on a Ship headed for Mexico, they'd advertise the Cruise-Crews Cruise to Veracruz.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Tamassran_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
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Why can Tom Cruise never lose?

Because Submission impossible

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πŸ‘€︎ u/memes_live
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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I was so happy when my toddler reached out and tried to touch Tom Cruise.

He's already reaching for the stars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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Did you hear about the new tomato soup and crackers movie starring Tom Cruise?

It’s called Bisquey Ritzness

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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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It was silly of Tom Cruise to put his best pistol on the highest shelf

He’s too short to reach the top gun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoyTheShip
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
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Have you seen the new Tom Cruise movie where he plays an Italian chef?

Mission ImPASTAble

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nick-lachey-lol
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2017
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Tom Cruise engaged

I'm driving to Fargo with my dad and brother when this happens.

Dad: Tom Cruise just got engaged again.

Me: Really? To who?

Dad: I don't know...the dashboard says "Cruise engaged."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Portal2theFloor
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2015
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Changed all my passwords to Kenny.

Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pugglepoops
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Cruise go brr
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TelepathicPsych
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Last summer, I worked on a party boat for the assistants to the staff of Terry Crews

I was on the Crews' crew's crew cruise crew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/exmachinalibertas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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NEW!! Celebrity Fun in the Pun candle line!

Chris Pine - Pine scented

Cocoa Chanel - Hot cocoa scented

Beth Crow-ley - Rain, nighttime, and city streets scented

Tom Holly-and - Holly berry scented

JK Row-ling - Lakes and campfire scented

Miley Cypress - Cypress scented

Bob Moss - Forest and moss scented

Juniper Aniston - Juniper scented

Katy Berry - Mixed berry scented

Britney Spearmint - Spearmint scented

Bread Pitt - Bread scented

Tom Cruise - Ocean, salty, alcohol scented

Aurora - Nighttime, wind, whimsical scented

Nicole Kidman - baby powder scented

Justin Beaver - Wood, nature scented

Elvis Parsley - Parsley scented

Steve Cobs - Corn on the cob scented

Banana Montana - Banana scented

Orange Winfrey - Orange scented

Chris Bat - Nighttime, caves, and bats scented

Zoey Salad-ana - Salad, lettuce, leafy greens, tomato, cheese scented

Dwayne the Rock - Mountains, earthy, fresh, crisp, wind scented Jennifer Joe-pez - Nice hot cup o’ joe scented

Chicken Corbin Blue - Chicken and cheese and ham scented

Robert Brownie Jr. - Brownie scented

Sardine-a Gomez - Sardine scented

Daniel Rad-Clif - Clif bar blueberry flavor scented

Leonardo Di-Carp-rio - Fish scented

Halle Berry - Mixed scented

Demi Tomato - Tomato scented

Kevin Bacon - Bacon scented

Mandy S’more - S’mores scented

Mackerel-more - Fish scented

Broccoli Obama - Broccoli scented

WILL.I.SPAM. - Spam scented

Mark Buffalo Wings - Buffalo wing scented

John Lemon - Lemon scented

Shakiramisu - Tiramisu scented

Egg Sheeran - Eggs scented

Benedict Cucumber Patch - Cucumber scented

Adille - Dill scented

Kevin Spicy - Taco scented

Channing Potatum - Potato scented

Melon DeGeneres - Melon scented

Danny Burrito - Burrito scented

Michaelanjello - Red jello scented

Harry Panini - Panini scented

Snoop Hot Dog - Hot dog scented

Paris Hilton - Paris, city of love, generic love perfume scented

Morgan Whipped Cream-in - Whipped cream scented

Mike Fryson - French fry scented

Henry David Thoreaut Lozenge - Cough drop scented

Raisin Williams - Raisin scented

Robert Frosty - Vanilla ice cream scented

Jeff Onion-blum - Onion ring scented

Tom Skittle-ston - Skittles scented

Ralph Waldo M&Mson - Chocolate scented

Malt Whitman - Malt scented

(Friend and I came up with these on the ride down to Boston for a concert, after the β€œI wonder what Chris Pine smells like?” joke was brought up again from a previous time hanging out. I’m particularly proud of Bob Moss and Zoey Salad-ana.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minnara
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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"No, that's..."

My dad used to play a game with me and my brother that was, in effect, an extended dad joke.

The "beginner" version, when I was younger, was when I would be talking about something, my dad would intentionally misinterpret it so that we could correct him. The objective being to keep up the misinterpretation in as long of a chain as possible.

Me: "Dad! Top Gun is on TV!"

Dad: "Doesn't that movie have that whiny folk singer on the radio in it?"

Me: "...No, dad, that's Tom Petty, not Tom Cruise."

Dad: "Oh, I thought he was Rosanne Barr's husband?"

Me: "No, dad, that's Tom Arnold, not Tom Petty."

Dad: "Oh. I thought he was that golfer..."

Later, once I figured it out, we moved to "advanced mode", where we skip the "correction" and just prove that you catch the reference by making another error in response.

Dad: "Oh. I thought he was that golfer..." (Arnold Palmer)

Me: "...wait, I thought that was the victim in Twin Peaks?" (Laura Palmer)

Dad: "...no, you're thinking of the lady who was the actress in Jurassic Park." (Laura Dern)

And so on. Did anyone else's dad's do something like this? Or any current dads? I currently play a version of this with my wife where she'll put on the radio and I'll intentionally misinterpret the artist. (Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody is playing, I comment to the effect of "God, I love Styx. Such a great song.")

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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Did you guys know that, in Germany, the Tom Cruise 'The Firm' is actually just the Die Hard sequel?

Die Firma

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maximumfunpriv
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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If Tom Cruise owned a liquor company

Would it be a Whiskey Business?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckwheat202
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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