Throw Blanket Puns

My friend was walking to the trash outside carrying something when I said,

"What is that?"

"Oh...it's just a blanket"

"Why are you throwing it away?"

"It's old and there's a lot of holes in it"

"Why don't you just give it to a priest? After all, I'm sure he would appreciate the holy gift."

Queue immediate face plant into blanket he was carrying.

My mom came home a while ago and said she bought throw blankets. I take one and throw it onto the couch and tell her it works well.

My dad comes back a little while later and he asks about the throw blankets and why we're keeping them. He says we should throw them away.

Wife and I married in October and had our first married Christmas together at the in-laws house:

Bro-in-law: (opens present) Oh! A reversible throw blanket! Me: So is the opposite of a reverse throw called... a catch?

This may be my last Christmas with the in-laws.

I asked my dad if our hotel had any blankets. He came into the room, chucked one at me and said, "Here's a throw!"

Me putting baby down to sleep upstairs: "hey, can you throw up the baby's blanket?"

Her: makes throw up sounds for a second.."sorry nothing is coming up!"

Me: "sigh..can you toss up the blanket then?"