The bartender asks βSo, two bloods and a blood lite?β
I'm worried about how odd she's becoming
Cube'n
Aren't all countries third world countries?
Every country is a third-world country
One night at the bar, I asked him if he could hit the bullseye on the dart board from thirty feet away.
He pulled out a throwing star and said βshurikenβ.
Needless to say it was getting on my nerves
He bought all his shoes at yard sales.
Classic example of he who smelt it dealt it.
I may be developing OC/DC.
You're not going to catch any fish like that.
and was disqualified from the limbo contest.
Because 10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty two!!
*American Woman comes on the radio
Dad: Guess what band this is.
Me: I donβt know.
Dad: Guess Who.
Me: I said I donβt know.
Dad: Guess Who.
Me: I DONβT KNOW!!
You'd think the second one would have seen it....
They walked him and pitched to the giraffe.
Suddenly the train stops. Silence fills the air. Everything goes dark. The first conductor stands up and tells everyone, "Sorry. That was my fault." The second conductor stands up and tells everyone, "No, I'm sorry. That was my fault." The third conductor doesn't do anything.
Each one is a skeleTON!
It's a vicious cycle.
I'm going to give it a tri.
.
I'm now a super pfizer
.
.
description: that was my dad's latest dad joke.
I was the only one who laughed....
Nobody mentions tie 1.
I whispered in her ear, βI keep giving you away... and they keep giving you back!β
eating my family and not using commas.
"What's this?" he asks. "The Matador Special, Senor," the waiter replies. "What meat is it?" the man asks. "Cojones," the waiter explains, "They are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon."
At first the man is disgusted. But he is the adventurous sort, so he decides to give it a try. To his surprise, he finds the meat delicious. In fact, it is so good that the next day he goes to the same restaurant again, and once again orders the specialty of the day. Again he is brought two very big balls on a huge plate, and this time it tastes even more scrumptious.
The third day he does the same, and the fourth. But on the fifth day he goes to the restaurant and orders the specialty of the day, but this time they bring him two much smaller round meaty objects.
"What's this?" he asks the waiter. "The Matador Special, senor," the waiter replies. "No, no," the man objects, "I had the Matador Special the last few days, and it was much bigger than this."
"Senor," the waiter explains, "the bull does not always lose."
How is a child like a salamander?
Because they axolotl questions.
He was more of an Uber person.
Because it was two-tired!
The first joke got a HeHe;
After I fired up the second one, the audience was seeing red;
By the third one the bartender told me βStop, half the audience Argon!β.
At least I got a reaction!
I walked up to her and said, "You never told me you were married. Let me know when he arrives."
Heβs gonna flop AGAIN!
Third time now, each one thereβs a pair of dice lost.
β¦.he saw they were a Pear
He removed the Mariah Carey CD and now the car is fine.
Why are Santas reindeer generally drenched with water?
Because they are rain-deer.
Why did Santa have to visit the psychologist?
He had low elf esteem.
Why are Christmas trees so uncoordinated when it comes to sewing?
They always drop their needles.
How did Yoda know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas?
He felt his presents.
Taken from Christmas Jokes
Oh well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad.
The third one ducks
And the third guy ducks.
The third one ducks to avoid it
