An Edgar Allen Poem.
He was a Poe source of information.
I continued, "Therefore, it's just a matter of a pinion."
It was in Poe taste.
Broth, the raven, nevermore
In other words, a conspiracy of ravens premeditated a murder of crows.
It was an amBUSH.
Grandma and I have been learning that the ravens and crows here in the Rocky Mountains are from the family "Corvidae." So, as their babies took flight for the first time today, we decided that the sky is filled with flying "Corvettes." They are adorable.
Quoth the raven, “Never moor.”
A good friend told me a story once. When she was a kid her family would often go to zoos and museums while on vacation. They were in the aviary on one of those visits looking at birds. My friend saw a crow asked the zookeeper a question. "What's the difference between a raven and a crow?" The zookeeper looked at her, smiled and started to answer. "Have you ever heard of a pinion feather?" he said. "Pinions are the the feathers at the tip of a bird's wing that allows it to fly. They are also the ones that people will trim to prevent birds from flying away. Crows have 5 pinion feathers while ravens have 6. So, if you think about it, it's really just a matter of a pinion."
To this day, my friend and her family don't know the real answer to "What's the difference between a crow and a raven?" They are wonderful and intelligent people, but they subscribe to a particular brand of ignorance where a good pun is better than actual knowledge. They call it punorance.
We're having a Canadian wedding with an animal theme to differentiate the different tables. On each table we'll have an animal emblem with some kind of love pun for each animal. It's been a trying affair to come up with these, but I know a lot of them could be better. In fact, most of them are downright ridiculous.
Reddit, how can we improve these?
Moose - I find you amoosing.
Beaver - I think I'll pick this flower for her, it would beavery romantic.
Owl - Owl always love you.
Fox - You are the object of my affoxtion.
Skunk - I stink you're sweet!
Bunny - Everybunny loves you!
Woodpecker - Knock Knock! Who's there? Wood! Wood who? Wood you be mine?
Porcupuine. I'm stuck on you.
Wolf - Wolf you marry me?
Trout - We'll be together trout eternity!
Turtle - You're turtley amazing.
Lynx - Let us lynx our lives together.
Bear - To be away from you is unbearable.
Squirrel - I'm going nuts for you!
Raven - Can't stop raven about you.
Turkey - I could just gobble you up!
Caribou - Where does one find a wedding ring for his deer? Why at the cariboutique, of course.
Deer - I love you deerly!
Goose - You give me goose bumps.
Sasquatch - Getting you to marry me was no small feat.
Also looking for some ideas for racoon, snake, and groundhogs.
My wife and I were recently at a small local zoo with our 1-year-old son, and we approached an exhibit with a couple of ravens.
Wife: "It's so sad that the ravens are separated by a fence"
Me, out of nowhere: "I know, they're like Crow-meo and Juliet"
Her eyes rolled back so hard I thought I was at Walmart
The ref said “neigh”
(My Dad just told this joke while watching the Ravens game. The other dads in the room laughed.)
As a Steelers fan it pains me to say but JTuck is easily my new favorite Raven. Fantastic delivery. And an even better confused, fake laugh response from the crowd.
My girlfriend is leaving for vacation tonight, and earlier she was trying to be all lovey dovey and snuggle, but I was trying to watch the football game.
Her: "Why don't you want to cuddle with me?"
Me: "I'm trying to watch the football game..."
Her: "But I'm going to be gone for an entire week!!!"
Me: "So are the Ravens..."
She threw a slipper at me and tried to fight back a smile.
My brother opens up his Christmas present which was a book of Edgar Allen Poe stories.
To which my grandpa immediately says, "I heard the critics were really Raven about that one!"
Well you see, a Crow has 4 pinion feathers on their wings while a Raven has only 3. So really, it's just a matter of a pinion.
dad: it's a matter of a pinion!
The big ones at the end of the wing. These feathers are called pinion feathers. A crow has sixteen.
So, the difference between a crow and a raven is only a matter of a pinion.