Why did the Mexican start taking anti anxiety pills?

He was taking them for Hispanic attacks

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fixmystreets
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2022
🚨︎ report
Why did Isaac Newton predict the pain pill addiction crisis?

Because a body in Motrin stays in Motrin.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2022
🚨︎ report
Drove to the pharmacy to get some sleeping pills

Drove back slowly so I don't wake the sleeping pills up

πŸ‘︎ 384
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SorryItsMeNotYou
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the pill bottle say when it ran out of medicine?

0mg

πŸ‘︎ 116
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iceberger3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2021
🚨︎ report
The miracle pill ?
πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What are the best pills for depressed ants?

anti-depressants

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2021
🚨︎ report
An old guy goes to the chemist and asks the pharmacist, "Is there some pills that can help with sex?" The pharmacist says, "Yes, Viagra, it's awesome, I take it myself" The old guy asks, "Can you get it over the counter?" Pharmacist replies, "If I took 2 or 3, probably."
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/M_Arslan_Tahir
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My ADHD medicine comes in a case shaped like a 3-sided polygon where each side is the same size, and the pills are distributed uniformly.

It's an equal Adderall triangle.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally swallowed the cat’s pill.

Don’t ask me-ow.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Pills for the bull

I recently spent $46,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.

Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!

I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ...but they kind of taste like peppermint.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
They have a new birth control pill for men that's the size of a small pebble.

You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I want to create a birth control pill that you take just before sex. The pill could even be mint flavored.

I’ll call them pre dick a-mints

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My Dr said I have to take these pills the rest of my life.

I said but the box says enough for 2 weeks?

The dr said.. that’s right.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.

Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Eating a cyanide pill is the last thing I'd do.
πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arklaw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did he come home looking depressed after the doctor said he needed to take a pill everyday for the rest of his life?

The Doctor only gave him 4!...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dartis_X-UI
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife had two crowns put on her teeth yesterday. She was complaining about the pain and the dentist gave her some medication for it. We are talking later and she said that she waited too long between the first and second pill and her teeth started to ache again. I asked her what time that was.

She said she didn't remember.

I asked her if it was around tooth hurty!

She got mad and hit me in the arm and stopped talking to me for a while.

Totally worth it.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blackdragon8577
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my weight loss pills........

You'll have nothing to gain.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Everyone said the pill that I synthesized tastes bad, but I didn't believe them

So they gave me a taste of my own medicine

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SauceMaster6464
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy selling sleeping pills in the desert?

Mr. Sandman

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoutgut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the airplane believe it was high on pills?

It was placeboeing.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Moshruum
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new birth control pill for men?

You put it in his shoe and it makes him limp.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wishyouamerry
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.