What did the Mama bear say to her cub when he was crossing the road to get to his School?
“Bison!!!”
~Was shocked to speechlessness when my 5 year old kid said this with a straight face. And this happened when I was trying very hard to teach him the right format of a knock-knock joke. I was stumped for about a minute as he combined a chicken-cross-the-road with a wordplay. Laughed so hard after that - until my wife had to use a pan on my head to stop us both.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Son: No. What happened?
Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Back in high school I led a movement to eliminate some of the alphabet's unnecessary letters. Our first target the 25th letter.
Why was the pirate depressed on his first day of high school?
He couldn't find Davey Jone's locker
Why were the pirates cutting school?
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?
The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies. "
I replied, "Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids."
What school supply holds the most power?
A nun was caught embezzling funds from the school she worked at
Her regrets - nun.
Let's hope she doesn't keep this habit.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at that school the other day?
They say he got detention for it
A student was writing a paper for school and kept mixing up the words "burro" and "burrow"
The teacher told him "you don't know your ass from a hole in the ground"
I had a friend in high school that really wanted to become a pilot. His parents hated the idea. Every time he brought it up, they were like
In high school, I was famous for writing my name in cursive.
That was my signature move.
Just wondering, do you think it's alright for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in school..
..or am I just a terrible Teacher ?
My son's math's teacher was away so the head of school had to step in and take her place.
It's the principal that counts.
Where do belly buttons go to school?
The cross eyed school teacher was fired.
She couldn’t control her pupils.
I (Australian dad) have been playing chess remotely against my primary school pen-pal (from Czech Republic) for almost 2 decades. I finally beat him yesterday!
Why did the students at the Greek school of sky-diving complain?
Their instructor was Con Descending.
why did the m&m wanna go to school?
because it wanted to be a smartie
My daughter claims her school is huanted and wanted to call the ghost busters.
I told her to call the cheerleading squad instead. Figured they might know the school spirit.
Did you hear about the new high school math competition they're calling "extreme "fractioning"?
My wife’s favorite class in High School was History
I should’ve known she’d be good at bringing up the past.
I heard Disney opened up a high school with a diverse field of study
They even had a 101 on Dalmatians
My daughter is thinking of becoming a mirror polisher when she leaves school.
It's something she can see herself doing.
My son is starting school next year but is scared because he thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name.
I reassured him, "Don't be silly! Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
The bus I took to school was driving on a new sort of fuel.
Apparently, it was driving on time
After graduating from the Aerosmith Chinese culinary and language school, I can finally...
Wok this way, and talk this way
I realised I was the poor kid at school...
....when I was the only one who turned up to band practice with a shoe horn.
How do crabs get to school?
They use the side walk!
- came up with this while walking to work today (I work in education)*
Did you hear about the man you set up a shark fishing school in Australia?
It cost him an arm and a leg...
american schools are some of the only places you can have first hand experiences with Quadrilaterals and quad-collaterals
What's the most dangerous class in school?
Music Class. Too much violins.
My boyfriend actually came up with it this morning and I'm having a hard time believing it hasn't been said before. I tried looking it up in this subreddit and google and haven't found anything yet lol.
A press conference was held with the lead of the school's administration about bullying
He said it has to be stopped, it's a matter of principal
What do Dentists and High School Students have in common?
They both think Calculus sucks.
Mrs Turtle, my old school teacher...
Tortoise everything we know.
My dad was ready to roll in on the jokes when coming to pick me up after school in his "DIY self-driving" car. Everyone knows though...
Old school 90’s Ravers aren’t worried about the gas shortage.
They’re used to running on E.
Did you hear about the fish that fell asleep in school?
How do you track Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints!
I went to astronaut school but flunked the zero-gravitas test.
How do young bees get to school?
Why, the school buzz, of course!
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up before the teacher saw.
Did you hear about the school kidnapping?
No? Don't worry, he woke up
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the local school?
It's fine now, he woke up.
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