Did you know that your pupils are the last parts to stop working after you die?
The most important part of a mail pun, is the delivery.
The ceiling is not my favourite part of the house.
But it's definitely up there...
Your pupils are the last part of your body that stops working when you die.
They dilate.
I'm not a dad, this is not my joke.
If you're not a part of the solution, you're either a solid or a gas.
I'd make more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones I know argon.
Did you hear about the computer technician who beat up his boss with computer parts?
It turns out he was a real keyboard warrior.
Where do they keep the lower back parts?
Some people were arguing about the most important part of a kitchen.
"The sink is the most important! It's where you get water for cooking, wash your hands, clean fruits and vegetables, and clean the dishes up afterwards."
But another person said,
"The countertop is even more important. It's where the food is prepared. And if the counter weren't there, you wouldn't have a sink at all!"
The first person was shocked. They weren't expecting a counterargument.
What’s the best part about ninja jokes?
No one ever sees them coming
you know what the best part about a house with a septic tank is?
you get to own your own business.
What’s Sherlock Holmes’ favourite part of the alphabet?
L-M-N-O-P, my dear Watson.
In most parts of the world, it's possible to catch a cold.
In Russia cold always catch you
What's the hardest part of becoming a Buddhist monk?
Just being offered the chants
I was doing repairs/maintenance on a Skyjack when my boss came in asked me how the new parts were working.
I said they were up and down. Refurbished parts just can't cut it.
Bill Gates: Hey Melinda, can I keep the MS Office as part of the divorce settlement?
Melinda Gates: Bill, ...you have my Word.
What is the hardest part of making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cows across the lake 🥁
What’s the worst part about going out to eat duck?
What's the weakest part of Tiger Woods game?
What is the best part in all the Harry Potter movies?
What is the most annoying part of a party with a large bowl of shared drink mix?
A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...
Mo-roccan.
This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
What’s the worst part of having an apple addiction?
You can’t see the doctor about it.
We got a new dog yesterday. He was a rescue and we're so glad to make him a part of our family. 'I think the transition is going well.'
'But your mother thinks it's been ruff.'
What body part do you spell using the letters P, E, N, I, and S?
What part of an airplane smells the most?
The nose.
*Credit to my 6 year-old for coming up with this one!
Just found out im still a part of the catholic church even though ive been an atheist for years...
...guess you could call me a serial sinner
What part of the hospital has the least privacy?
Which vehicle is part of the LGBTQ community?
What is the worst part about losing your index finger?
There is no point to your hand anymore
The radio host sailed to the same part of the ocean each year
Which part of a hospital is the best place to play hide and seek?
Why are gas powered cars part of the LGBT community?
They have a transmission.
What is Goofy's favorite part of the egg?
The Titanic II is a modern-day replica of the RMS Titanic and is scheduled to set sail in 2022. It's creators do not believe it will relive the tragedy of it's predecessor because
that was an ice-olated incident.
Went out in rain this morning but got hit on the head with a car part.
It was raining Datsun Cogs.
What is a duck's favorite part of the news?
The hardest part for someone when coming out
Saying it with a straight face
Did you hear about the man selling bicycle parts?
He went into the market to peddle his wares.
The Romans divided Gaul into three parts...
...probably used a pair of Caesars.
My 15 month old daughter has been saying "momma" and "dadda" a lot now, and I tried using this to my advantage...
Secretly (when my wife was out), I'd ask her "who do you love more?", and praise her when she said "dadda!". This has been going on for weeks now.
The other day, my wife got home and I wanted to show her my little 'trick'. So I asked our daughter, "Who do you love more?", in which case she replied "dadda!" and ran towards my wife (which is very clearly her favourite btw).
My wife, who didn't care much for the new thing I taught our daughter, bent down and picked her up to cuddle with her. Her facial expression changed a bit, then she laughed. She looked at me and said "well, she ran to me as she said that, and her diaper is full... so clearly she was full of crap when she said that!"
My wife is now in on the dad jokes and won this one!
Edit: Bolded the text to emphasize what part of this story was the dad joke...
Final Edit: My wife was surprised at how much this blew up! She says thanks to everyone, but she has no idea what the awards are for (since she doesn’t use Reddit). 😂
If given the choice of which part of your face to insert a finger,
Would you pick your nose?
A German soldier during World War II was embellishing the number of troops he had with him
When the Allies thought it was just him, he claimed there were not 1 but 2. Then he changed his story to 3. Then he said 5, then 8, then 13, and finally 21. When the Allies made it to his position, they discovered that it actually was just him.
Turns out he was a fibber nazi.
When you die, what part of the body dies last?
The pupils....they dilate.
Which part of your body is the last thing to die?
So apparently when you die, the last part of your body that stops working is your pupils..
It’s because they di-late
Why are pupils the last part of your body to die?
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