My buddy was promoted to quality inspector for the Canada Goose Jacket Company. He doesn't like it very much though...
...lately, he's been feeling down.
After a Viagra salesman died from the effects of the drug, the company gifted his family a casket of a new, high-end material.
They call it mourning wood.
Why wasn't the scuba diver invited to the company's executive beach party?
Because he was below C-level.
Ever since the power company shut off my electricity
I’ve been in a very dark place.
I hate working for what I want. Capitalism has ruined everything. Every time I dip my pen in the company ink, nine months later my wife hires a new employee.
What shoe company brought back the popularity of baroque music?
The Boring Company
What a dull name for a drilling company. Why didn’t Musk partner up with the founder of Microsoft and call it ‚Elon-Gates Tunnels‘?
A tire company got hit hard by the pandemic.
First off, not many people were buying tires, as they were driving less. Then the warehouse got robbed. To add insult to injury, the place caught on fire. For them it really hasn’t been a Goodyear.
The first company to rename their dinner rolls "gravy mops" is really going to clean up.
I just got a letter from a herb and spice company demanding the $100 I owe them.
If I don't pay them within a week, they have threatened to send the bay leafs around.
The lift is from a company named Schindler...so it’s Schindler’s Lift...is this set up as pun on the classic film Schindler’s List? My head is spinning
Did you hear about the Swedish car company that went bust in 2012?
It’s your typical Saab story.
My town throws a festival for the salmon spawn each year. This is what they call companies that contribute a significant amount of money.
Why did Popeye write to the Italian food company Bertolli, thanking them for everything they’d done?
They made olive oil spread.
Since his political career is almost over the US vice president is starting his own soda company.
It's called Pence-a-cola.
When the first company develops the Coronavirus vaccine we should all proclaim: "Covidatulations"
What do you call an important message to the staff of a building materials company?
Just dad joked the owner of my company
So I'm normally an electrician by trade, but work has been slow lately, so I've been helping one of his friends with some of the concrete work in a small housing development close to the shop. Well he came out and started talking to me about what I've gotten done since this morning, I told him and he goes "This is getting you great electrical experience!" I kinda laugh and reply back "Yeah, I'm learning all about grounding." He turned and walked away, but I about died laughing.
JK Rowling should start the first smart door company and name it SmartleDoor
You would open the door with a wand attached to your keychain instead of a key
Did you hear about the corruption scandal in the milk company?
Turns out they were skimming a bit off the top.
I am trying to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but the companies keep denying my application.
They told me, “If your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”
They refused to hire the boat assassin to be the face of the company
They had a feeling he'd be a sails killer
I heard that Bran the cereal company is dying
I think the should re bran.
why did the airline company mandate that vanilla ice cream be served on all aircraft
so that they could make plain plane jokes
One of the founders of a large company called Aloecorp, Inc. recently got divorced
His wife is seeking aloemoney
The project to restore Big Ben was a bit behind schedule, so the construction company put on a third shift...
Men are now working around the clock.
What phone company did The Fonz subscribe to?
At the company picnic, my co-worker said he had some juicy gossip. He loaded up his plate but tripped on the way to my table...
I hired lawyers to sue the airline company for mishandling my luggage.
Did you hear about the car company that has started making Star Wars figurines?
Toyota now makes toy Yodas...
What did they name the company who makes rubber planes?
The company Volkswagon has said that they will release a new series of cars that use electricity.
They decided to call it, Voltswagon.
The officers of my company all met on the open, unroofed porch extending from our building...
Who is the CEO of Pokémon Company?
let me tell you the twitter handle of a horror company out of this world
@mustfear
edit : thisnisna dad joke. not intended as an actual twitter handle search.
The electric company I work for has a talent show at the annual company party.
One of the techs did a stand up comedy routine. The humor wasn’t very funny, it mostly went for shock value.
This quarantine has provided me the perfect opportunity to start a yacht making company in my attic...
Sails are through the roof!
I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...
Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.
I tried a new drink by the Dicken brewing company
I recommend the hot Dicken Cider... It's delicious.
He's climbing the company ladder
I tried to get insurance for my camp site, but the company refused.
They said, “If your tent gets destroyed, you won’t be covered.”
I hired lawyers to sue the airline company for mishandling my luggage.
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