The Boys Of Summer Puns

A heavily pregnant woman walks into a bar in the middle of summer and orders a big glass of ice water. "Boy it's a scorcher out there," she says to the bartender. "Sometimes I wonder if it is too hot for the little guy in here." "Oh I wouldn't worry about it," the bartender replies. "It's probably just womb temperature."

boy is getting ready for summer camp

mother: I packed butter, bread, and 1kg of nails

son: but why?

mother: what do you mean why? put the butter on the bread and eat it.

son: ok, but what about the nails?

mother: don't worry, I already packed them!

On bridges in Michigan, there are signs warning motorists of ice that forms over them during the winter months.

When I was a kid, I was riding in the car with my dad one hot summer day. my dad says, "boy is it hot..." as he pulls over on the bridge, unhooks his wristwatch and sticks it out the window. I ask, "what are you doing, dad?" And he says, "didn't you see the sign? 'Watch for ice on bridge'!"

He laughed for a good five minutes as he drove off.

When I was in high school, I babysat 2 boys (who at the time of this story, were aged 7 and 10) for some extra cash. One day I was eating dinner with the family when the younger brother said that he couldn't wait to be in the fourth grade like his older brother.

"It's not that great," said the older one. "Once you're in the fourth grade, you have to read a bunch of books for a summer reading log and write a report on one." (In my county, there are mandatory summer assignments, the most common ones are English assignments.)

Their dad said, "Summer projects are good! They help stimulate your brain over the summer! If you don't brush up on your education for those three months, you could lose all of your smartness and never get it back!"

Older brother: "Yeah right. And how did you find that out?"

Me: "Well, they do say that firsthand experience is the best way to learn."