Bill Clinton is banned from all the French bakeries in his neighborhood.
He kept feeling their pain.
I just finished painting a customer’s home and they were surprised with the bill...
Them: “You’ve factored in all the labour, but what about the paint?”
Me: “It’s on the house”
Growing up, there was a time my parents couldn't pay the electric bill.
It was the darkest day of my life.
Thousands of people have found the device that can cut their electric bills in half......
Why did the girl break up with a guy who paid for everything with ten dollar bills?
What is the most important part of a Daylight Saving Time bill?
My grandson was taken to the hospital because he swallowed a $5 bill
My friend in the country couldn’t afford his water bill...
So I sent him a ‘Get Well Soon!’ card.
I make Christmas wreaths for a living. So I decided I would make one out of 100 dollar bills the other day.
I call it a wreath of Franklin.
Opened the electric bill and the Wife can't understand why i'm on the floor laughing.
My friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn’t afford the bill.
He really got a head of himself.
I had a priest perform an exorcism for my house, but I never paid the bill....
BR EAK ING NE WS....'Bill Gates has agreed to pay for the finishing of Trumps Wall."
(on the condition he gets to install Windows in it)
I found a $20 bill in the parking lot of the grocery store. I asked myself, what would Jesus do?
So I turned it into wine.
Why is Bill Clinton playing the Saxophone now trending on YouTube?
It’s because of the Al Gore Rhythm.
I still believe Bill Clinton's Vice President invented the internet
Why else would we use Al-Gore-Rhythms?
A big bear goes into a bar and slaps down a $20 bill and says to the bartender,"give me a gin and................tonic"
The bartender replies, "Why the big paws?"
If I had twins I'd name the first one Bill
The second one is Doubill
Bill Clinton's VP could have won in 2000 if he had found the right flowchart
But he just wasn't using the right Al Gore-ithm
As I was leaving the vet’s office, he said “Here is the bill..
Sorry, that we were unable to reattach it to your duck.”
I saw Bill Gates at the airport today
How did Bill Cosby describe the massive earthquake in the Grand Canyon?
“There was a schism in the chasm.”
A man goes to the doctor, and says "doctor, I havent been peeing correctly and its painful". The doctor replies "I will have to perform a prostate exam." As the doctor examines the man, he pulls out an $100 bill out of his bottom. This continues, he keeps pulling out money from this man's bottom.
After about half an hour the doctor says..."You won't believe this, but i just pulled $1999 out of your bottom"
The man turns around and says "Yeah, I wasn't feeling 2 grand"
What do you call a woman who throws all of her bills on the fire?
The Dalai Lama hands over a $10 bill, and asks for his change.
The man behind the counter says, "No, change must come from within".
My son was washing some dollar bills the other day
He said it was money laundering
What do you call the anime bill of rights?
Why can't you pass a bill in the stables?
What was the dollar bill’s biggest fear?
Bill Clinton hiding in the Bushes
I don’t understand why the thief who stole my currency collection took all the bills but left all the coins.
It was a cents-less crime.
In college I was so broke I couldn’t afford the electricity bill
Those were the darkest days of my life
My gas bill is through the roof this month!
I hope next time he goes back to using the letterbox
Just opened my electric bill and my water bill at the same time.
I was completely shocked.
Once I was so broke I couldn't even pay the electricity bill.
My new business failed miserably, I was selling T-shirts featuring glow in the dark dollar bills
But then my Dad reminded me: money doesn’t glow on tees.
A guy came into the bar to order a glass of Coca-Cola's first diet drink, saying to put it on his bill.
When the US first conceptualized the $100 bill they were thinking of putting the face of Jesus, as his ability to come back to life was greater than any wealth.
It would've been the 1 undead dollar bill
"Hey, I'm Bill." "Well! I'm Bill as well." "Then I guess we are the Bills."
"Hmm. Then who's gonna pay us?"
Bill, the weatherman: “Today’s weather forecast will be two beans in a tomato, meat sauce.”
Anchor: Bill, what on earth are you talking about?
Bill: It’ll be a little chili.
George Washington predicted that some day in the future, a dollar bill will contain his likeness.
In that sense, he was on the money.
The other day I was walking down the street and I commented that I like someone’s spunky shoes. 10 minutes later I passed her again and she gave me a $5 bill she found on the ground.
That’s karma in real life
I just got my doctors bill for the bowel prep before my colonoscopy
$150??!!!
Man, that shit was expensive!
Wow, I lived during the time Bill Gates was alive
I can't wait to tell that to people a thousand years from now!
My self-centered friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn't afford the bill.
He really got a head of himself.
In college I was so broke I couldn't afford the electricity bill.
Those were the darkest days of my life.
In college, I was so broke that I couldn’t afford to pay the electricity bill.
Those were the darkest days of my life.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
