I think the recent development of synthetic meat is stupid

I mean, why reinvent the veal?

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📅︎ Dec 13 2022
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best natural dad joke I've ever made

The day after my son was born he was having trouble breast feeding. he got fussy and i was comforting him, i told him "it's alright that you didn't get it right away, you were only born yesterday"

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📅︎ Aug 11 2022
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A salon was fined the other day for using synthetic feces to wash hair...

... they got in trouble for using sham poo.

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👤︎ u/wilkc
📅︎ May 18 2018
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Why is synthetic oil such a great product?

Because it's so we'll refined!

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📅︎ Oct 14 2017
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You know how to make a tulip garden really shine?

Light bulbs

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📅︎ Apr 07 2022
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Hydrogen. Helium. Lithium. Beryllium.

Long ago, the 118 nations lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the synthetic elements attacked..

Only the Chemist, master of all 118 elements could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he vanished.

100 years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Chemist, a potassium bender named Anion. And although his potassium bending skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone.

But I believe Anion can save the world!

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👤︎ u/TDSinv
📅︎ Oct 27 2021
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Feb 22 2016
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