This is one sweet pun
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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A few sweet puns. Candy keep them rolling? instagram.com/p/BMKnZKbD0…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sketti11
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2016
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My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets.

The decision was a piece of cake.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Gimme some sweet karma for an account I'll never use again
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πŸ‘€︎ u/idk_man_im_tired
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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I thought I heard news of a country making money out of soft pear-shaped fruits with sweet dark flesh and many small seeds...

But I guess it was a fig mint of my imagination.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
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What’s the difference between a baked sweet potato and a forcefully flying pig?

One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Columbus_Explorer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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I've always hated the song "Sweet Dreams"

But who am I to disagree?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThiccLastiGirl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What did the Sweet Potato say when it gained consciousness?

I think therefore I Yam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/symbologythere
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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Ultimatum...
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toe-knail
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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Just bought a Sweet Car Online...

Previously owned by Neil Diamond.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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What’s a monsters favorite kind of sweets?

Dead velvet cake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zomboy_5097
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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Why did the sweet potato cross the road?

So that it could be the other side. Courtesy of my 6 year old. I’m so proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/watchtheedge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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How does a candy bar laugh

It snickers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whyitdoiexist
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...

Riceless

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Sweet dreams are made of cheese.

Who am I to dis-a-brie?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Noah's berries.

It's not well known that among the species of plants taken aboard Noah's Ark was a very odd berry. This berry had a special property where if you ate too few at once they would be sour, but if you ate too many at once they would be bitter. Even stranger was that the right number of berries to eat at once for perfect sweetness was different for each person.

Shem would never take enough berries and would complain every time "Ugh! These berries are so sour! Why did we bring these plants?" Noah would reply "I've told you over and over, you need to eat a couple more in a mouthful to make them sweet."

Ham would always take too many berries and would complain every time "Ick! These berries are so bitter! I'd like to toss the plants overboard." Noah would reply "I've told you over and over, you need to eat fewer in a mouthful to make them sweet."

Japeth would grab a random amount and whenever they were bitter or sour he'd complain "Why do these berries never taste the same? We should let the animals eat the plants so we don't have to eat the silly berries." Noah would reply "I've told you over and over, you should remember how many berries taste the best."

After a couple of weeks of this, Noah announced "I'm taking charge of portioning the berries. I've made notes of how many of them taste the best for me, my wife, all of you my sons, and your wives. At meals I'll give each of you the correct amount, and NO MORE COMPLAINTS!"

Another week passed and Japeth wanted some berries to take the edge off his hunger, but rather than wander all over the whole ark looking for his father he asked Emzara "Where's dad? I'd like some berries before lunch."

Emzara pointed to the storeroom and said "I thought you were tired of the berries? But there's Noah, counting for taste."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreggAlan
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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I dated a communist once. I had no idea. She seemed sweet. But it did NOT end well

Honestly I should have noticed all the red flags

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bicatlantis7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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How does a baker in Alabama describe his occupation?

β€œI’m in bread.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbrasky43
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet?

Reali-tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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What do you call a sweet gun?

Dessert Eagle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Staters
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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I went to the Pharmacy today...

When I got there, I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter. The Pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me. I said, β€œYes! Could you please taste this for me?” Being I’m a Senior Citizen, I guess the Pharmacist just went along with me. He picked up the spoon and put a tiny bit of the liquid on his tongue and swilled it around. Then with a stomach-churning look on his face he spit it out on the floor and began coughing, gagging and turning green. When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye asked, β€œNow, does that taste sweet to you?” The Pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, β€œHELL NO!!!” So I said, β€œOh thank God! That’s such a relief! My Doctor told me to have a Pharmacist test my Urine for sugar!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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I’d say something sweet about the new Jacket I got for Christmas..

But I don’t want to sugar coat it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/inspectorPK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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What does a vampire bite if he wants something sweet?

A necktarine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hevlerius73
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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An hour before 5 in the morning is the best time to cook a sweet potato.

Because it's For a Yam!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Sweet memories
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fahim16
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Did you hear about that famous chocolate factory owner who suffered from a penis accident?

He's known as Willy Wonky.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalseAladeen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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I recently found out my wiener doesn’t work anymore. I decided to have a funeral since it’s pretty much dead now. My sweet wife asked if anything would make me feel better.

I replied, Perhaps mourning would...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/legendary-jake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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There's no churro emoji

that'll be sweet dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewzee0109
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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My friend knows just who he can trust in the seedy part of town to get him safe candy and sweets...

He has treat smarts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Sweet Home Alabama
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnacksAttacked
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?

He was dead lifting.

Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/35mmPirate
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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Why was the cookie missing his friend?

Because he’d been a wafer too long.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darth_626
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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What gender pronouns does a chocolate bar use?

Her/She

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YankeesFan80
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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I heard Chinese joke.

It was a sweet-sour experience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ricerly
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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Did you hear about Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend breaking into an animal shelter and releasing a bunch of huskies into the wild??

Turns out it was The Who that let the dogs out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/No-Dane-No-Gain
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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Sheep shouldn't eat sweets

They get diableates

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kimenon001
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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My grocery store had a great deal on baked sweets today

It’s really been a great cake day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wakes09
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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Something sweet I found in Texas
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoTheAngryToe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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I met a homeless person who smelled really sweet.

He was a cinnamon bum.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/analytik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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Such a sweet song
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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After getting badly hurt, my friend asked me not to sugar coat it

So I used stevia instead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodHippo9
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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As an archaeologist, I could instantly tell the people of the ancient world were into sweet things...

They used a mortar and PEZ-tle.

Yeah, it's dumb but it sure beats a repost!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Sweet revenge:) (also the edit is because I had to translate the message so sorry about that)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnderJus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets.

The decision was a piece of cake.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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Sweet dreams are made of cheese.

Who am I to diss a brie?

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report

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