What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?

β€œMake queso, number one.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SabinCrusades
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
🚨︎ report
My Vet said our puppy requires supervision at all times.

I told him that I would be happy to consider LASIK, but wondered how it would help us potty train him?

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlyinDanskMen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?

... Because his parents died

πŸ‘︎ 155
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hicks4183
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My son saw a sign that said 'please keep children under supervision' and asked "dad, have you got super vision?". I never thought of the word 'supervision' that way before.
πŸ‘︎ 306
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/steven8765
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
🚨︎ report
My son told me that he needed supervision for a school project he was working on

I asked him, "Since when is regular vision not good enough?"

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beerncheese
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign saying β€œKeep children under supervision at all times” and it made me realise...

...my parenting days were over as I only had normal vision

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PicanteMule02
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I just turned 18 so now I shouldn’t need my glasses anymore

I’m still waiting for my adult super-vision to kick in

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JDFighterwing
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I always hear about "adult supervision", but I still have roughly the same eyesight as when I was a kid. When do I get the grownup super-powered vision?
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/geak78
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2017
🚨︎ report
My wife told my daughter she can't play on the office chair without supervision

I told my daughter if she put on glasses it would be okay.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshWithaQ
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you know that your eyesight actually gets better as you get older?

It's called adult supervision.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2015
🚨︎ report
Home Depot checkout line is as good a place as any for a dad joke

I needed to run to Home Depot just a little while ago, and my eight year old son has been driving my wife insane, so he was sent with me. He asked a hundred questions about what tool does what and why I needed this or that. Despite my distracted supervision, he surely mixed up several loose nuts and bolts.

At the exit of the self checkout line, there's a massive gumball machine that holds massive gumballs. I rarely carry change, so he's out of luck.

Sonny Boy: Dad, can I have a quarter?

Me (checking out): Nope. Don't have one.

Sonny Boy: You don't have any cents?

Me: If I had any cents, I'd have left you at home tonight.

No, he didn't get it, and I'm shocked he set it up so well by saying cents. But, the dude in the line next to me let out a solid guffaw. We made the satisfying, knowing eye contact of two dad joke aficionados. I'm glad someone else heard it.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dtsjr
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Watching the weatherman give the forecast and he says we'll probably see some teens late tonight and I said

They shouldn't be out that late without adult supervision. The sound of eyes rolling is music to my ears.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zulubowie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I was using some power tools and my dad hands me binoculars.

He said I needed some supervision when working with dangerous tools.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rshambo_29
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you know why Cyclops is such a great X-Man?

He has supervision.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/J0k350nm3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm 35, I got kids and I swear my eyesight is worsening.

I thought I was supposed to get my adult supervision by now! :-(

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/monthlyduck
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
🚨︎ report
What super power do you get once you're a parent?

Supervision.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dudecancode
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
🚨︎ report
So John just started working at the butcher's shop...

and things are going great for the first few days, handling deliveries, putting cuts into and out of storage, etc. After his first week, coming in at 8am to work with the Butcher's supervision, the Butcher decides that he can trust John with a little more responsibility. The Butcher is a bit of a perfectionist and he tells John that he has to be there by 6am Monday morning because a delivery of fresh beef was due to arrive at 6:15 and it needed storage and processing immediately. John was incredibly excited and set extra alarms Monday. He snoozes his 5am alarm, but his 5:15 alarm gets him going, and he arrives at the shop at 5:55, tired and slightly panicked. He gets into the back room and takes a catnap.

He is shaken awake at 7:45am by the Butcher, who is asking where the cuts are. The deliveryman didn't see John and so the beef wasn't delivered or cut. The Butcher was incredibly disappointed in John, and had to fired him because he had caused too many missed steaks.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/howlingchief
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2017
🚨︎ report
What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?

β€œMake queso, number one.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SabinCrusades
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.