As an aroace living alone, not having a partner, not having children (and knowing I don't want them either), I've noticed some allos who have all of these, can have confusing reactions to my lifestyle. They tell you how their family is their everything (I don't doubt it but it feels like they think I do), but simultaneously, you can read between the lines that they're jealous of people like you who are free to do whatever they want with their free time, have the chance to focus on some very time-consuming hobbies etc. They tell you the true meaning of life comes from the family/children, and I often get the feeling they'd want you to agree to validate their life choices and make them feel good about it. Disagreeing on any level would be a social suicide, because the family with children is seen as such an epitome of happiness in the society. And while they except you to validate their lifestyle, they might still belittle things that make you happy in life, and tell you it's just something you do when you have nothing better (= raising children) to do. They often go about it with a patronizing tone like "you'll know when you reach the point in life I already am at and know as much as I already do". Often also with a joking tone, so you can't argue back or people would think you're just overly-sensitive and lack the sense of humor.
This rant is a combination of responses I've gotten over the years from different allo people. I just got person reacting like this again a few days ago, and wanted to vent a bit for it feels like my way of living is never seen valid and there's nothing I can do about it. It feels unfair I can't argue back or people will think I'm just overly-sensitive or insecure or jealous of them. I've even wondered if my desire to find a QPR partner originally comes from the societal pressure to have "the normal type of life" so I can feel like I belong. I know I'd maybe like to live with someone in the future, but I just have to keep in mind that a relationship wouldn't give the same to me it does to some of the allos. For example, I get the impression some of them literally couldn't live without, whereas for me it would be a nice addition to my current life, and the cons (the risks) feel bigger than the pros, contrasted to their needs.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to comment if you've had frustrating treatment like this as well, and how you deal with it.
The first 100 days of my sobriety were hell. A white-knuckle ride with crushing fatigue and an emotional rollercoaster.
SD was my inspiration and refuge.
Except when someone would post βTwo years and it just gets better and better!!!β
I would explode with incandescent fury.
βSupercilious Twat!!!! How can it get better and better for two years!?! Why is this relevant to me in my hell? I am here for support in early sobriety!!!β
Well, here I am, two years sober. And, being the supercilious twat that I am β it gets better and better.
It gets better in small, incremental and consequential steps.
Because you didnβt have a drunken row with your partner last night you can have a conversation this morning. Because you can have reasonable conversation this morning you can agree to go to the movies tonight. Because you go to the movies and have an enjoyable evening then your relationship is β how shall we say β more positive tonightβ¦..
Because you didnβt wake up late with a raging hangover you got to work on time and actually functioned at your job to your full potential. Because you functioned to your full potential you got promotion. Because you got promotion you get head hunted by a competitor with more pay.
Because you didnβt put half your pay cheque across the bar you paid off your debts. Because you paid off your debts your credit score improved. Because your credit score improved you could get a loan for a new car.
Itβs all down to the βbecausesβ.
Hang in there.
Leon from season 3 seems like a nut job. A real psycho.
Watching yesterday, I heard him say, with deep gravity: βThese themes parties, I think itβs more of an American thing than anything else. I like to think that European yachting is more sophisticated.β
Season 3 has a pretty good cast; loveable, deplorable and the loathesome: Don &b Leon
###supercilious
^^/suΛpΙΛsΙͺlΙͺΙs/
##adjective
behaving or looking as though one thinks one is superior to others.
"a supercilious lady's maid"
-Joseph Stalin
tankies mad
supercilious
adjective: Lofty with pride; haughtily contemptuous; overbearing.
adjective: Manifesting haughtiness, or proceeding from it; overbearing; arrogant: as, a supercilious air; supercilious behavior.
Word of the day Provided by : wordnik
IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE, LADS, LADIES, AND EVERYONE IN BETWEEN.
LET'S GO DEVILS!!!!!
I have all these food - grade buckets and carboy and 5 gallon pots for boiling. One good boil and I'm set for practically the whole week.
