A man with a stutter died in prison

He never got to finish his sentence

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2021
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I know I have a terrible stutter, but I would like to introduce you to the lady who cuts my hair

This is Ba ba ba ba barber Anne.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WhatProtomolecule
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2021
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Jewel thief with worlds worst stutter was jailed for 10 years yesterday...

A police spokesperson says it may take him up to 11 years to finish his sentence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FuckinWimp87
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2021
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My brother, who stutters alot, went to prison...

Its a shame that he won’t finish his sentence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yaboibaka
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 19 2020
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If you have a bad stutter, never accuse your wife of being a "hoarder."

Severe head trauma could result.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 21 2020
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A guy with a stutter died in prison...

Before he could finish his sentence!

(Don't know if it's been done before, please don't hurt me)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/A_Telephone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2019
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My dad has a serious stutter and just went to prison

I don't think he'll ever finish his sentence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Admiral__Unicorn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2019
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A student visits the principal’s office one day and the principal says to him, β€œWhat’s your name, son?” He replies, β€œD-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” The principal looks up and asks him, β€œOh, do you have a stutter?”

The student replies, β€œNo sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was an asshole.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 75
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15 2019
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Did you hear about the man with a stutter?

The judge says he'll have a hard time with his sentence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Plane_Garbage
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2019
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Your Dad is in a prison and he's got a stutter. What problems is that going to cause?

He's never gonna finish his sentence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spookyboy96
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2019
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Mom: You poor kid. You know you can get some help with that stutter.

Kid: Wh... wh... why? I... I'm pretty g... good at it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2019
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You can always trust someone with a stutter

They always stick to their word.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yesuhuhyes
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2019
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Insulting people who stutter are repeat offenders.

EH?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Snerkderp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2018
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what did the man with stutter say when asking the brightness of some light bulbs?

"what watt are those?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2015
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A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"

The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.

The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"

Again, the clerk doesn't answer him.

The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"

And the clerk just seems to ignore him.

Finally, the guy storms off in anger.

The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "Why wouldn't you answer that guy's question?"

The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2016
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How do you embarrass a stuttering Tauntaun

B-by Taunt-tauntaunting him.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
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Just found out my cousin who had a stuttering problem died in prison

He didn't even finish his sentence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 164
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/13010013
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2020
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I took my daughter to the doctors. He asked me if she always stuttered like that. I said no,

only when she wants to say something.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/labink
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2020
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In a fit of rage and sorrow, I kept stuttering

I couldn't find my voice, I stuttered, " I, I-i, Iβ€”I, I'L" I was at a loss for words

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheTalkingSandvich
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2020
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Did you hear about the inmate that stuttered?

He never finished his sentence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 647
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/harryassburger-il
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2018
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After trying for a week, the wife just told me, she's pregnant.

She has the worst stutter ever.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 114
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2020
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My friend opened a seafood restaurant...

He named it β€œCCCCCCC”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2020
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Where does the stuttering film director shoot Phil Collins' music video?

In the Stu-stu-studio.

Came up with this at work the other day. A customer asked for her purchase for free after I shared it with her.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dreamerkid001
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2016
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Two cowboys were lost in the desert

They were starving hungry, and finally, they see a tree in the distance draped in bacon.

β€œLook!” says one of the cowboys, β€œIt’s a bacon tree – we’re saved!”.

He runs towards the tree but is suddenly shot down in a hail of bullets.

With his last dying breath he stutters:

β€œIt’s-It’s-It’s not a bacon tree... it’s-it’s a ham bush!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrLazercat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2019
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Why can't Hitler count to 10?

he will always stutter at nein, nein, nein.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 23 2019
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It thought it qould be funny

Son: D-d-dDad

Dad: Ahh he's going to say his first words

Son: D-dad I've been speaking for 30 years, stop making fun for my stutter

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BrownUPSBox
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2019
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Early release

A stuttering man was released from prison early

He could not finish his sentence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2019
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What's a Pirates Favorite ....

Dad: what's a Pirates favorite crime?

Me: uh ... ?

Dad: ARRRRson! What's a Pirates favorite type of socks?

Me: I don't know dad.

Dad: ARRRRgyle! What's a Pirates favorite branch of the military?

Me: rolling eyes it's the ARRRRmy.

Dad: acting confused No, it's the Navy. Why on earth would they like the army better?

Hopefully not a repost but I very clearly remember getting caught by this one and stuttering with no response.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 587
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CrossCheckPanda
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2014
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There’s a magician

who claims he can heal anyone with magical crystals. He announces to a crowd, β€œanyone who needs something healed, step right up and I can heal you with my powers!” Someone steps up, on crutches. β€œHi, I’m Phil, can you fix my leg?” He asks. β€œYes! Of course! Phil, step behind the curtain!” Answers the crystal guy. Then, another man steps up. β€œYou seem fine! What’s the problem?” The crystal guy asks. β€œI h-h-have ha-had this st-stutter since I wa-was five.” He said. β€œOk, I can fix you right up!” The crystal guy says, motioning the guy with the stutter behind the curtain. Then, he says some sort of chant, moving crystals around. Once he is done he shouts, β€œPhil, throw a crutch over to prove you’re healed!” A crutch goes flying over the curtain. The crowd gasps. β€œNow, sir, with the stutter, say something!” He shouts, showing off it worked. β€œU-uh Ph-Phil fe-ell d-down.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SaucyyThomas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2019
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A Little Pun on the Job

So I have a funny anecdote from work but my friends don't like puns as much as I do, so I'm hoping someone here will appreciate it. This happened last night.

My lead walked up to me to let me know a coworker wasn't there, he says, "Bill is dead and we killed him." I give him a blank stare because I didn't comprehend him immediately and he goes, "it was a reference to Nietzsche." (German philosopher known for "God is dead and we killed him.") "it was a Neitzsche joke." So I responded with "that's cool bud, but I believe it's pronounced 'niche'." He stutters for a moment, "no, it's- oh." I burst out into laughter and he walks away with a "fuck you". πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xanderismello
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2017
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Met the Manager for the first time, gave him a dad joke, now I'm the favorite

BACK STORY:
So I got a new job through one of my good friends, and while working with him I shook hands with my boss Chad, awesome guy. As we were making small talk I was stuttering a bit, and my good friend, Neil, loves messing with me about it.
Me: Yeah, that sounds g-g-great
Neil: T-T-TODAY JUNIOR, jeez can your mouth ever talk straight?
Chad: Hey it's legal now so if his mouth wants that, it's none of my business and more power to him.
Me: But my mouth is bi
Neil:Bi what?
Me: Bi my nose

Chad laughed hard, this will be a great job. More dad jokes to come, I'm sure

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SendMeASmile
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2015
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So I got a second cat, and my mother was bringing another litter box.

So she said: "You should write 'Sammy' on the litter box."

Me: (Look at her dumbfounded for a moment, stutter mildly and speak quietly for emphasis, like how you would when telling a family member that a mutual loved one is very ill) "M-Mom...I..I don't think he can read."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CptSmackThat
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2014
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I just found out that my friend with a stutter died in prison

He didn't finish his sentence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/King_Sparky_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2020
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A man with a stutter died in prison...

before he could finish his sentence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 96
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gremick92
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20 2018
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Did you hear about the guy with a stutter who died in prison?

He died before he could finish his sentence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2018
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What happened to the man with a stutter that died in jail?

He never got to finish his sentence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Thetrueboo92
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2018
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"What’s your name, son?"

The principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir."

"Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked.

The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 679
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aye_its_soya
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2021
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I just found out that my cousin with a stuttering problem died in prison.

He didn’t even finish his sentence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 148
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Insayne-iwnl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2019
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My mom just told me that my stuttering cousin died in prison

He couldn’t even finish his sentence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rossmannion189
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24 2019
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After a couple of weeks of trying, my wife just told me that she was pregnant!

She has the worst stutter ever.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 146
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28 2020
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After trying for a week, my wife just told me that she is pregnant.

She has the worst stutter ever.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2018
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After nearly three weeks of trying, my wife finally told me, β€œI’m pregnant!”

She really has the worst stutter ever.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2018
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After two weeks of trying, my wife just told me she was pregnant.

She has the world worst stutter.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2019
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Son : D-d-d

Dad: aww he’s about to say his first word

Son: D-dad i’ve been talking for 20 years stop making fun of my stutter

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mosjojo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13 2018
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