Stumping Puns

Does that make it a toilet tree?

Is it considered a toilet-tree?

I wonder what office they're running for.

but I broke it off.

He was missing a key element the whole time

I'm stumped.

Dead

But I'm stumped.

Police admit they are stumped.

This actually just happened!!!

I was driving my 14yo home, and I was complaining because I recently hurt my shoulder.

Me: Ow, my shoulder is trash

Him: Maybe you'll have to amputate your arm

Me: That wouldn't help because I'd still have a stump to waive around. They'd have to amputate it at the shoulder.

Him: They wouldn't really do that, would they?

Me: Yep

Him: Baloney

Me: No, that would be down here and pointed to my shin

Then he started crying :-) I can die happy now!!!

But so far, I'm stumped.

They tried to investigate the trees, but they were all stumped.

He asks Watson what the problem is.

Watson replies: "No shit, Sherlock!"

I call it my hedge fund

Heard this one on the radio during the Sunday Puzzle segment on NPR's Weekend America yesterday. A grandfatherly contestant on the program (named Gérard) asked this riddle of NYTimes puzzlemaster and Yale enigmatologist Will Shortz:

"Two cats are competing to see who would win in a race swimming across the English Channel. The cats' names are One-Two-Three Cat and Un-Deux-Trois Cat. Who won?"

Shortz was stumped. The contestant answered the riddle saying:

"The English cat, One-Two-Three Cat won because Un-Deux-Trois-Quatre-Cinq."

The lumberjack grinned, “And you will dialogue!"

“I’m stumped!”

I was stumped.

I'm stumped!

Because it couldn't log in!

Me: I know a good Knock Knock joke, but you have to start.

Mom: Knock knock

Me: Who's there

Mom: Who's there who?

Defeated

I was stumped.

He said she would be really good at stump speeches.

Completely stumped.

it would of been funny if this joke had a punchline wooden tit

She replied with "I don't know dad I'm stumped"

Because I'm Stumped!

My coworkers and I were taking asbestos safety classes. The instructor told us to do a good job on our tests. I looked over at the instructor and said, "I'll do this job, asbestos I can." Instructor couldn't contain himself.

Cuz you're blowing me away

Stumped

It 'sticks' the landing!

The terms "midget" and "little person" has me stumped.

Treeson

I’m stumped

I was stumped.

Im stumped.

Do you think its stumped

Upon arrival, he began to swing at a tree, when it shouted,"Wait! I'm a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned, and said,"And you will dialogue."

The tree was stumped.