My neighbor, Mr. Coffee, came stumbling into the police station this morning.
Apparently, he had been mugged.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25 You know why?
The local police station has had its toilet stolen
Officers have nothing to go on.
Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night
Cops have nothing to go on
Remember when air was free at the gas station, now it’s $1.50. You know why?
A women was getting petrol at a petrol station and spilt some on her arm.
She rubbed the petrol off and drove away. While on the road, she lit a cigarette and her arm caught on fire. Concerned, she started waving her arm out the side of the car.
Amongst all this, the police pulled her over. "What am I under arrest for?" The officer replied "for having a firearm"
What is the difference between an old bus station and a crab with a boob job?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean
Got really emotional at the petrol station today.
Don't know why, just started filling up.
A very young lemon strolled into an underground metro station, buying and enjoying a coffee, chatting with other fruits and eventually riding on a nice, modern train.
One could say it was a sub-lime experience.
I keep complementing my local gas station when training my dog.
I saw a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font.
There's a giant fly attacking the police station
Don't worry, I've called in the SWAT team
I went to the local petrol station
There was nothing coming out of the nozzle. I walked to the kiosk and i said, have you got your pumps on?
He said, no, I'm wearing flip-flops
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”
I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
Police stations dog squad got robbed today.
Police officials don’t have any leads at this time.
My dad doesn't like filling stations.
He says they give him gas.
There's an epidemic of exploding toilets at police stations.
Cops have nothing to go on.
I saw a woman at the gas station pumping gas and trying to light a cigarette
I went inside to pay and saw two policemen in the store. I said "Did you guys see that woman out there?" They looked outside and suddenly darted out the door. I turn and see she caught her arm on fire.
The policemen threw a blanket around her and wrestled her to the ground and put out the fire. Then they gave her a ticket!
After they came inside I asked why they gave her a ticket. Turns out she didn't have a license for that firearm.
Compressed air at gas stations used to be FREE, but now you have to pay $2!
I grew up after covered wagons, but before space stations.
Help!
Coworker found a loophole and it’s mostly dressed as a bear. I’ve used all my bear puns! Help me make more! Work at a gas station/pizza place
A little boy walked into a police station
"I lost my daddy" says the boy. "We'll look for him son, don't worry: what's he like?" asked the officer. "Liquor and women."
A legit conversation today with my 2 1/2 year old son as we do our daily stroll past a train station that for once, has no trains stationed...
Son: Daddy, where is Thomas?
Daddy: I don’t know, mate.
Son: He must be working from home today.
Is this his first dad joke?? Strange what they must be picking up from conversations. Got me good.
What do you call a hand sanitizer station that's empty?
A hand sani-teaser....
....
....
Because you think you're going to get your hand sanitized, but you don't, cause it's empty, so it's teasing you...
Yeah?
Yeah?
aww....
A man has been stealing wheels of police cars.
The police is working tirelessly to catch him.
Have you guys seen the International space station??
Its out of this world!
How it works is above me!
Someone tried to explain it to me but it flew right above my head!
What did the supervillain say when he got off at the last train station?
It's the end of the line for me!
Went to the Police Station yesterday and started singing Rock a bye baby.
The Sargent stopped me and said, "No sir, we need an alibi."
What time does the train pull into the station?
Choo-choo thirty, I'd say.
One of the local radio stations had a "Worst Pun" contest.
The best part was you could submit multiple entries, and I sent in a bunch, at least 10. I figured the more I came up with, one of them had to win.
But, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
My son tried to make me a rest bed with a built-in water station, but the water kept squirting out.
I smiled and told him, "Hey, it's the cot that founts!"
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk I have a work station...
They say there's a cryptid by the train station that drinks American whiskey late at night
But I'm sure that's just a bourbon legend.
What do you call someone who cleans the outside of the International Space Station?
I don't think this train has left the station.
Thieves have broken into and stolen all the toilets at the Police Station
Detectives have nothing to go on
I went over to a station where people could gather and entertain themselves with games. On the entrance was marked “5”
After the most historic series of fires ever, an arsonist goes into the police station to turn himself in.
It was his claim to flame
Someone stole all the toilets from the police station.
They had nothing to go on.
Do you know why air pumps at gas stations used to be free but are now $1.50?
Remember when they used to have air at the gas station for free? Now it’s $1.50
Someone stole the toilet seat at the police station
Investigators have nothing to go on.
Before air was free at the gas station, and now you have to pay for it? You know why?
Air used to be free at gas stations, now it's $1.50. Know why?
Someone has stole all the toilet paper from the police station.
Police say at the moment we have nothing to go on.
Someone stole all the toilets from the local police station!
They’re looking for the culprits, but they have nothing to go on.
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