Stationary Puns

A list of puns related to "Stationary"

Bought a stationary bike today

but I don't see myself getting anywhere with it.

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👤︎ u/Evening_Flatworm5850
📅︎ Mar 22 2021
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What do you say when your stationary bin starts moving?

Bingo!

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👤︎ u/theRiverknows86
📅︎ Feb 04 2021
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On this day last year me wife got me a stationary bike for my birthday.

Well it’s a regular bike but it hasn’t moved in 364 days.

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👤︎ u/SufficientVariety
📅︎ Dec 05 2020
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What do you call a stationary shop that sells adult toys?

Dictionary.

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👤︎ u/hang-me-im-guilty
📅︎ Aug 17 2020
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Trees aren't stationary...

I was hiking in Olympic NP last year and we took a break. Soaking in the scenery and she was feeling philosophical; she said that 'it must be lonely to be a tree, you just stay in one place forever'. I let that hang in the air for a bit then replied, 'No, eventually you would leave'. She nearly choked on her water.

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👤︎ u/wolverine_wannabe
📅︎ Jan 10 2020
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No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationary
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👤︎ u/mapguy
📅︎ Sep 24 2019
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Who is in charge of the stationary cupboard?

The Ruler

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👤︎ u/endangeredpenguin
📅︎ Jul 15 2019
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I bought a stationary bike.

But all the rest of the people in my bike group just make fun of all the colorful zebra print and the Lisa Frank logo.

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👤︎ u/SageLukahn
📅︎ May 22 2019
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Bought a new stationary bicycle the other day.

It's made out of envelopes.

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👤︎ u/breakone9r
📅︎ May 18 2018
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stationary fern
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👤︎ u/microwave-hair
📅︎ Sep 02 2015
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A sign says: move over for stationary emergency vehicles.

Dad says: what constitutes a stationary emergency? I'm out of letterhead and all my pencils are broken.

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👤︎ u/Scipunk99
📅︎ Jun 10 2017
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Stationary zinger

Spouse: I'm out of staples. I didn't realize how often I used my stapler until I ran out.

Me: I guess you could say, they're a real staple...

Groans were had...

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👤︎ u/couchparsnip
📅︎ Feb 25 2014
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What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?

Stationary.

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👤︎ u/Seven_Arcadian
📅︎ Dec 28 2020
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Sales are down, so my boss asked why the greeting cards aren't moving

I told him it's because they are stationary

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👤︎ u/I_Only_Have_One_Hand
📅︎ Feb 18 2021
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Why didnt the notepad move

Because it was stationary

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👤︎ u/Toffeemanstan
📅︎ Apr 15 2021
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People ask me why the notepad on my desk never moves

I tell them it’s stationary

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👤︎ u/xtaldad
📅︎ Jan 21 2021
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Paper joke

What do you call making paper figures that sit on your desk?

Stationary art

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👤︎ u/Zetafunction64
📅︎ Jan 02 2021
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I tried to make a paper airplane fly but it wouldn't.

I realized it was stationary

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👤︎ u/Subliminal_Image
📅︎ Jan 21 2021
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Why couldn't the letter be delivered?

It was written on stationary paper.

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👤︎ u/lfantine
📅︎ Nov 07 2020
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Why did all the gym members sign the bike?

Because it was stationary.

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👤︎ u/dwarvenfriend
📅︎ Dec 27 2020
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You can throw an envelope as far as you want, but it’ll still be stationery.
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👤︎ u/InOPWeTrust
📅︎ Dec 30 2017
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Where is the safest place to be in an earthquake?

A stationary store

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👤︎ u/scottchiefbaker
📅︎ Jun 16 2020
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Mom wins.

I'm the Dad. So, we're driving around and we see a "Mobile Paper Shredder" truck.

Me: "I don't have any mobile paper." (good Dad joke, right?)

Her: "It's all stationary."

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👤︎ u/b0b
📅︎ Dec 22 2018
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What do you call a letter that goes in the mail without postage?

Stationary.

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👤︎ u/not_john_titor
📅︎ Jun 16 2020
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What do you call a pen that isn’t moving?

Stationary.

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👤︎ u/tmr2003
📅︎ May 15 2019
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No matter how much you move your pencils,

they're still stationery.

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👤︎ u/thefizzynator
📅︎ Mar 23 2016
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I had a moving company

But then I stopped and opened a stationary store

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👤︎ u/RiverjailConspiracy
📅︎ May 29 2019
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My mime friend's best performance is when he acts like a piece of paper...

He remains stationary.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Oct 18 2019
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Spoiler alert, dad joke ahead

"No matter how far you throw an envelope, it will still be stationary"

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👤︎ u/fatherhoodgalore
📅︎ May 16 2019
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"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.

"Don't be daft," I replied. "A toilet is a stationary object."

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Jul 08 2019
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What do you call a train that never moves?

Stationary!

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👤︎ u/zainchupacabra
📅︎ Feb 21 2019
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Thought this at the gym...

People you who enjoy stationary bicycling at the gym are cyclepaths...

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👤︎ u/Paul_Walked
📅︎ Jan 17 2019
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Why’s my ruler not moving?

Because it’s stationary

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👤︎ u/Richardbaconaise
📅︎ Sep 19 2019
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Why don't pencils win races?

Because they're stationary.

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👤︎ u/matt1617
📅︎ Apr 17 2017
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Newspaper Headline

Stationary store moves.

^(Credit to Jimmy Carr)

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👤︎ u/remsed777
📅︎ Mar 13 2019
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What do you call letters and envelopes that haven’t been moved in years?

Stationary.

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👤︎ u/Dstew94
📅︎ Aug 11 2018
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Did you hear about the train made out of pens, pencils and rulers that wouldn’t move?

They tried swapping the rulers for erasers but it remained stationary.

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👤︎ u/TannedCroissant
📅︎ Dec 03 2018
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I bought a stationary bike...

But I don't see myself getting anywhere with it.

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👤︎ u/Evening_Flatworm5850
📅︎ Jan 11 2021
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A paradox - No matter how much you push the envelope, it will always be stationary.
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👤︎ u/Wu-TangJedi
📅︎ Dec 02 2015
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What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?

Stationary.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Apr 07 2021
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What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?

Stationary

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👤︎ u/scottdetweiler
📅︎ Dec 31 2020
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be…

…in a stationary store…

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Mar 13 2020
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If you push the envelope...

...is it still stationary?

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👤︎ u/DiscoveringMore
📅︎ Dec 17 2018
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No matter how far you push the envelope..

.. it always remains stationary

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👤︎ u/luckydragon88
📅︎ Jul 16 2019
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No matter how much you push the Envelope

It'll still be stationary

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👤︎ u/PeevesPoltergist
📅︎ May 29 2019
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No matter how far you push the envelope...

it always remains stationary.

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👤︎ u/RichyCigars
📅︎ Oct 20 2018
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