Stagely Puns

Everyone in the audience was a paid actor

... and then it hit him.

It was a play on words.

Where there's a Will, there's a way.

The sound from a pigeon does not do this, the reason is a coo sticks.

Yup, I could have been running one of the fog machines but instead I'm over here sulking over the mist opportunity.

And 99 won't slap you, but one Will.

Blunderstruck!

Now it's a receding hair line.

I spoke with Ra emotion

I guess it was a 'play on words'

He took it pretty well, he left without creating a scene...

Brian says "I should go first, I will cox some interest out of them"

Neil says "Good idea. I will go in the middle and tyson things together"

Bill says "I will go last, because in the end is nye"

Is he speaking into a Mike Rowe phone?

when she came back, I asked what was wrong and she said, "I had to pee ya know?"

He was too close to the Edge.

Water- Malone.

Because it's a cold play.

Now he's entering stage 5.

He got mooed off the stage

“Yes” “Oui” “Sí” “Ja”

Lil’ Help

Personally I reccomend beef, chicken, some vegetable, and maybe a pot or two to cook those in.

They're still waiting for Gadot.

In de-Nile

It was just a stage I was going through.

Because they breathed, breathed in the heir.

9 times out of 10 they are Grovers.

It’s called Tailor Swift.

I just keep responding with z.

It was a real shitshow

I don't think they were that excited, when I took the stage I was just met with blank stares.

Because they don't have a single funny bone in them. Except in the arm. That's humerus

"I’ve got you a job," says his agent. "That’s great," says the actor, what is it?" "Well," says his agent, "it’s a one-liner" "That’s okay," replies the actor, "I’ve been out of work for so long I’ll take anything. What’s the line?" "Hark, I hear the cannons roar!" says the agent. "I love it" says the actor "When’s the audition?" "Wednesday" says the agent.

Wednesday comes and the actor arrives at the audition. He marches on stage and shouts: "Hark, I hear the cannons roar!"

"Brilliant," says the director, "you’ve got the job. Be here 9 o’clock Saturday evening."

The actor is so happy he got the job that he goes on a major drinking session. He wakes up at 8:30 Saturday evening and runs to the theatre continually repeating his line; "Hark, I hear the cannons roar, hark, I hear the cannons roar, hark, I hear the cannons roar."

He arrives at the stage entrance, out of breath and is stopped by the guard. "Who the hell are you?" asks the guard. "I’m "Hark, I hear the cannons roar." "If you’re "hark I hear the cannons roar.", you’re late. Get up to makeup right now!"

So he runs up to makeup. "Who are you?" asks the makeup girl. "I’m "hark I hear the cannons roar."" "If you’re hark I hear the cannons roar", you’re late. Sit down here." And she applies the makeup. "Now quick, get down to the stage, you’re about to go on."

He dashes down to the stage. "Who are you?" asks the stage manager. "I’m "hark, I hear the cannons roar."" "You’re "hark, I hear the cannons roar?" Get out there, the curtain’s about to go up."

He tears onto the stage. The curtains rise, the house is full. Suddenly there is an almighty bang behind him, and the actor shouts "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?"

He was just going through a stage.

How to join the stage: raise your hand and I'll call on you when it's your turn

The event has ended, thank you to everyone who participated!

…and then it hit him

... and then it hit him.