We should have been able to predict the fall of the Soviet Union a lot sooner.

There were a lot of red flags.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2021
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I had this great joke about the Soviet Union...

But it just fell apart in the end.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-Masderus-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2022
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Why do Soviets always write in lower-case?

Because they hate Capitalism.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 170
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2022
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Why were many Soviets in a hurry?

Because they were Russian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Theageofpisces
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2022
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In Soviet Union

Jokes make dads.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LC_Design
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2021
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On Christmas in the Soviet Union

On Christmas in the Soviet Union, it was a very misty day. Sometimes the mist would be so thick that it was almost like rain. In the town square a couple were having an argument on if this weather would be considered rain or not. To settle the dispute the husband said they should ask the Town Guard, Rudolf. His wife, not thinking Rudolf would be much help asks "Why him? What does he know about rain?"

To which the husband replies "Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nagol93
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2021
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I was unaware the soviet politburo were heavily interested in the development of the automatic transmission for automobiles...

apparently the manuals kept Stalin

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JammyTodgers
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2021
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I once dated a heavy supporter of the Soviet Union (spoilers)

It didn't work out. There were red flags everywhere.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Manux005
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2021
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what is the name of a marriage between two russians?

A soviet Union

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BetInternational2983
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2022
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Why wasn't the Soviet Union Counting Stars?

They weren't OneRepublic

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iambob07
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2021
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What did the soviet say when he was caught in traffic?

It is a good thing I'm not Russian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brninitdwn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2021
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There were no mines in Soviet Russia

They were called ours

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hessim20
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12 2020
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Reason not to date women from Russia

They are always russian to conclusions

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SeaweedOriginal5313
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2022
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We were Hungary...

We were Hungary when we got to Turkey on our way to Moscow,

soviet.

^(Don't bother. I'll show myself out.)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TokeToday
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 08 2022
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If pronouncing my B’s as V’s makes me sound russian...Then soviet.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Roody_killer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2019
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What's the difference between a Soviet soldier and a fish?

The fish lasts longer in it's tank

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MartianofMars01
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2021
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The two men stared intensely at each other over the chessboard, neither one making a move. Suddenly, one of the men gasped in horror and shouted, "How is this possible? You must be taught by the Soviets!"

The other smirked and replied, "Czech, mate."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bokutos_Little_Toe
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2021
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In Soviet union you were not allowed to write with your left hand. That isn't right!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tambalajus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2021
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Why did the Soviet Union never take off?

Because they kept Stalin 🀠🀠🀠

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MartinsChair
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2021
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Why did the Soviet army have such great soldiers

They were all excellent at marxmanship

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FilipinoOompaLoompa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2020
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I once dated a communist girl but I realised it was a mistake when she invited me over.

There were red flags everywhere!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jche98
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2021
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What do you call a soviet sniper?

A marxman.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NN111NN
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2020
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It may not matter to you if your friend is a communist...

But if he waves the banner of the former Soviet Union, that's a big red flag.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/secondson-g3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2022
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Why did the architecture student get points off on his blueprint of a Soviet house?

Unnecessary Marx and Engels.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/subpar-at-best
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06 2020
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I ended things with my communist girlfriend.

Too many red flags.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gingi0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10 2021
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If talking about socialism alienates some of my friends, then Soviet.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Genesis1522
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 21 2020
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I would stay away from the Soviet Union

There's a lot of red flags you need to watch out for.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 108
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Eireannach0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2019
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What do you call a russian wedding?

A Soviet Union!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Daniel12233221
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2021
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(Insert soviet anthem here)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThunderMuffin16
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2019
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Why did the Soviet Union not attack Germany right away?

They were Stalin.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2020
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Why are the soviets so quick at doing their work?

Because they are russian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mr_midnightmare
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2020
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An American spy is in Soviet Russia, digging up information on a powerful Russian politician. He finds him in a bar, walks in dressed in Russian attire, pretending to be Russian. Everybody in the bar looks at him, but he keeps his cool. He orders a drink and walks to the politician...

"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."

The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any other man in the country!"

He then proceeds to sing the Soviet anthem, so melodically and beautifully, that everybody in the bar cheers.

"Very good, very good!" says the politician. "But I still think you are spy."

The man continues to keep his cool.

"I am a historian! I can tell you everything about this glorious country!"

He then spends about two hours recounting the Revolution, the Great Patriotic War, about how superior to the Russia is in terms of technology compared to America and makes a great argument about how communism is beneficial to society.

"Amazing! You are skilled!" says the politician.

The spy smirks.

"But I still think you American spy."

The spy is getting frustrated, but still unfazed.

He replies, "I am good drinker, a true Russian! Let us drink, and see who can come out top!"

The bar turns its attention to the politician and the spy, who are now in a drinking contest.

The bartender serves drink after drink of vodka.

After about an hour of drinking, the politician nearly passes out, unable to hold as much liquor as the spy, to a resounding cheer amongst the bar.

In the midst of the cheering, the Russian politician gets up, smiling, and in a slurred speech, repeats, "You are good, you are good... but I still think you are spy."

The American spy, piss drunk, loses his skill and gives up.

"Okay, you got me. I am an American. But what made you think that way, after all this time?"

The Russian politician replies, "There aren't many black people in Russia."

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 84
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2019
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I don't get how Russians didn't see the demise of the Soviet Union coming

There were red flags all over the place

πŸ‘οΈŽ 212
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kangamooo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2019
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If we can’t stop communism then Soviet
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HandCrimped
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28 2019
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History has shown that during the Cold War, the US warheads feared a Soviet nuclear strike

They really went bunkers

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Projkt88
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2020
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What is the difference between Russian roulette and Soviet roulette?

In Soviet roulette everyone dies equally

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/oleolesp
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2020
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In Soviet Union comment corrects you
πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/silverwolf_raven
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2019
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Does this pun believe here ?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Keyckes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2020
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Mikhail Gorbachev started an anti-alcohol campaign in USSR in 1980s. People went crazy because of the restrictions on selling of alcohol. An old Soviet joke went like this:

β€œA disaffected and angry citizen, fed up of standing in lines for vodka, decided to go assassinate Gorbachev. He soon came back and ruefully reported that the lines to assassinate Gorbachev were even longer than the lines for vodka.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OtsuKotsu
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2020
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Went to my date’s house after dinner last night and saw she had a Soviet flag covering the entire wall

I knew that was a big red flag

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Smoothmcdoodles
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2019
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Soviet Shoenion
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Beanier-Than-You
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2019
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If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian, then soviet.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 31k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2018
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If pronouncing my Bs as Vs makes me Russian...

Then Soviet!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 300
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bigd1979666
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2021
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If pronouncing by b's like v's makes me sound Russian, then Soviet.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/allnerdsbewareme
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13 2019
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The soviet union was doomed to fail.

The red flags were everywhere.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2020
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