What does a software engineer do after coming back from shopping?

Debagging ๐Ÿ˜

Came with this myself few years ago (I am a software engineer:)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JakeDiscBrake
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 05 2022
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the software engineer who had to troubleshoot their code using only their mouse?

The examination was only cursory.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PdSales
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 05 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How many software engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Zero. Itโ€™s a hardware problem.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 25
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/silverjaydog
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 30 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a software engineer who was an English teacher?

A pro-grammar

Was told by a friend's father!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheTimeDictator
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a software engineer doing squats?

A back-end developer

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Shitty_Orangutan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you get when you cross a Software Engineer with an English teacher?

A programmar.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SarcasticSirius
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How many arrays do you give a software engineer for finishing a feature?

Hip Hip Array! Hip Hip Array! Hip Hip Array!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rine117
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Computer Puns

How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.


Whereโ€™s the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.


A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history โ€“ with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.


If it werenโ€™t for C, weโ€™d all be programming in BASI and OBOL.


There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who donโ€™t.


In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?


Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.


Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.


Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.


An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks โ€œmay I join you?โ€


Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.


Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraftโ€ฆ and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.


How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Itโ€™s a hardware problem.


I named my hard drive โ€œdat assโ€ so once a month my computer asks if I want to โ€˜back dat ass upโ€™.


I think my neighbor is stalking me as sheโ€™s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.


I changed my password to โ€œincorrectโ€. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say โ€œYour password is incorrectโ€.


A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.


Itโ€™s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.


Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didnโ€™t know who he was.


I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didnโ€™t have internet.


A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.


Are you a computer whiz? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardwar

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 12 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.