What does a software engineer do after coming back from shopping?

Debagging ๐Ÿ˜

Came with this myself few years ago (I am a software engineer:)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JakeDiscBrake
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 05 2022
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Did you hear about the software engineer who had to troubleshoot their code using only their mouse?

The examination was only cursory.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PdSales
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 05 2021
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How many software engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Zero. Itโ€™s a hardware problem.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/silverjaydog
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 30 2021
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What do you call a software engineer who was an English teacher?

A pro-grammar

Was told by a friend's father!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheTimeDictator
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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What do you call a software engineer doing squats?

A back-end developer

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Shitty_Orangutan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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What do you get when you cross a Software Engineer with an English teacher?

A programmar.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SarcasticSirius
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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How many arrays do you give a software engineer for finishing a feature?

Hip Hip Array! Hip Hip Array! Hip Hip Array!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rine117
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Computer Puns

How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.


Whereโ€™s the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.


A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history โ€“ with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.


If it werenโ€™t for C, weโ€™d all be programming in BASI and OBOL.


There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who donโ€™t.


In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?


Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.


Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.


Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.


An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks โ€œmay I join you?โ€


Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.


Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraftโ€ฆ and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.


How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Itโ€™s a hardware problem.


I named my hard drive โ€œdat assโ€ so once a month my computer asks if I want to โ€˜back dat ass upโ€™.


I think my neighbor is stalking me as sheโ€™s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.


I changed my password to โ€œincorrectโ€. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say โ€œYour password is incorrectโ€.


A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.


Itโ€™s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.


Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didnโ€™t know who he was.


I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didnโ€™t have internet.


A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.


Are you a computer whiz? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardwar

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 12 2017
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