If you are smothered by hanging window coverings with no chance of escape...

...it's curtain death for you.

👍︎ 11
💎︎
ðŸ‘Ī︎ u/Joesdad65
📅︎ May 30 2019
ðŸšĻ︎ report
A couple was found smothered in their bed in my town last night.

The cops are calling it the pillow case.

👍︎ 15
💎︎
ðŸ‘Ī︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jun 15 2019
ðŸšĻ︎ report
My local Waffle House has a new insurance plan.

They're now covered and smothered.

👍︎ 4
💎︎
ðŸ‘Ī︎ u/pdas1996
📅︎ Mar 17 2021
ðŸšĻ︎ report
I love to smother my burger with lots of chunky tomato, onion and garlic condiment...

I really relish it.

👍︎ 15
💎︎
📅︎ May 08 2018
ðŸšĻ︎ report
I read that if you sleep on a certain type of fabric smothered with ketchup it adds 20 years to your life.

Unfortunately I can't remember the sauce material

👍︎ 5
💎︎
📅︎ Aug 15 2018
ðŸšĻ︎ report
You think I smother our child? imgur.com/7VeMfiG
👍︎ 436
💎︎
ðŸ‘Ī︎ u/Bobqee
📅︎ Nov 06 2013
ðŸšĻ︎ report
- You don't want to suffocate me?

▩I'll do it smother time.

👍︎ 6
💎︎
ðŸ‘Ī︎ u/uno_moss
📅︎ Jul 03 2020
ðŸšĻ︎ report
I dreamed about mufflers last night

I woke up exhausted

👍︎ 14
💎︎
ðŸ‘Ī︎ u/_otterinabox
📅︎ Mar 23 2018
ðŸšĻ︎ report
Dad joke IRL

Laying in bed post-coitus. Me: So what did you say about naptime? Wife: I haven't said anything about naptime. Me: Like I said when you were talking about naptime... Wife: I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT NAPTIME!! Me: What do you mean? You just mentioned it twice! Her: hits me violently with a pillow I'm gonna smother you...

👍︎ 2
💎︎
📅︎ Apr 23 2019
ðŸšĻ︎ report
Grandad dropped this one on us...

We are discussing what food we are going to order at the restaurant:

Mum: What about smothered chicken?

Grandad: Could I get one that was traditionally slaughtered please?

... He was a butcher.

👍︎ 78
💎︎
ðŸ‘Ī︎ u/Emphs
📅︎ Aug 21 2014
ðŸšĻ︎ report
This one always stuck with me.

Probably about 20 years ago I was out to eat with my parents and the waitress came and asked if we were ready to order. As my dad was looking at the menu he said "I've got a question about the smothered chicken. Does smothering the chicken to death really make it taste better?"

Facepalms all around.

👍︎ 4
💎︎
ðŸ‘Ī︎ u/jde824
📅︎ Sep 14 2014
ðŸšĻ︎ report
Dad slyly snuck this in and thought no one heard him...

Me: Did you guys take any pictures back then? (Asking about my parents in the 70's and 80's)

Mom: No, I don't think so... we didn't have a camera.

Me: Was this before cameras were a thing?

Dad: Nah, it was B.C. Before cameras.

And I got so mad I almost smothered him with a pillow

👍︎ 10
💎︎
ðŸ‘Ī︎ u/chickems
📅︎ Jan 11 2015
ðŸšĻ︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.