Did you hear the alcoholic skydiver is feeling unwell

He's coming down with a cold one

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jake_chyllenhaal123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2020
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My friend is a professional skydiver.

He really throws himself into his work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/emjay144
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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What do you call a regular backpack in a skydiver’s plane?

A perish-ute

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pixelated_knight72
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2020
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What was the skydivers last investment?

He bought the farm.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 14 2020
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What’s the difference between a golfer & a skydiver?

One goes whack...dammit! The other goes dammit...whack!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lights0ut83
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2020
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We were watching the news when the commentator said that "several Brazilian skydivers died when their parachutes failed"...

My son burst into tears. I explained, "yes, buddy, it's sad, but they knew what they were getting into". My son replied, "I know, but it's still so sad. I mean, how many are in a brazliian? Is more than a million?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jfshay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2019
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What did the skydiver say when her pack didn't open?

Chute!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2019
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My little nephew just asked why skydivers only have a single reserve parachute.

I said, if they had more than two they wouldn't be called pair-o-chutes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2019
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What did the skydiver say in Autumn?

I love the fall.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GeeJD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2017
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Are you a Skydiver who got featured on the news? Because your drop dead gorgeous.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NerdyKateAvenue
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2018
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Why don't blind people like skydiving?

It scares the dogs!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/generichumanNo9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2021
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You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.

You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BenFranksta
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2021
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What did the frenchman think about his skydiving instructor?

He was a descent guy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CyberOGa3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2020
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My brother wants to try skydiving so I warned him that...

It has so many downfalls.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Just_arrived_here
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2020
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People asked me what my most thrilling adventure trip was last year ... heli-skiing, skydiving, or camping...

Hands down camping. It was so in tents.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/enganere
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
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There's a new extreme sport - "BBQ Skydiving".

The steaks have never been higher.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Select-Atmosphere110
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2020
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If at first you don't succeed..

.. skydiving is not for you

πŸ‘οΈŽ 94
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CanadianBreakin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2021
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If at first you don’t succeed, well there goes skydiving.

Unless you have a Maxwell House parachute. They are good β€˜til the last drop.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/davidwayland
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 24 2020
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Ya know the hardest thing about skydiving?

The ground.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZealousidealRise7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2020
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Why don’t blind people skydive?

It scares the shit out of their guidedogs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 83
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JustAGuyInTampa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2020
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Did you know you can actually go skydiving without a parachute?

Yeah, only once though.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/G1itch1n5y5t3m
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2020
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Did you hear about the financial analyst who went skydiving but missed the landing spot by a mile?

He was an expert in the field

Edit: I made this up myself!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ImNudeyRudey
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2020
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I wasn't sure how much I would enjoy skydiving.

It was descent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2020
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I asked my skydiving instructor what I should do if my parachute doesn't work. He said when it comes to that, we'll figure it out on the fly.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hank_the_Hand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2019
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Why is skydiving such a dangerous sport?

Lots of people put on the perish-ute by accident.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMightyBattleSquid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2020
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Why dont blind people like skydiving?

I dont know, but it scares the hell out of their dog

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2019
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Why do blind people like to skydive?

They can't see any downfalls.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 65
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/samalam123
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2019
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Right before he died, my Dad went indoor skydiving.

Well... he didn’t start out indoor skydiving... but he did land indoors.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tophbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2019
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I hated my first experience of skydiving. I jumped out of the plane with the other person next to me.

Anyway, about halfway down he said, "So, how long have you been an instructor?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rednreditit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2019
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β€œHow did you like skydiving?”

β€œOh, you know. It was descent”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SimenZhor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2018
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What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

One goes whack "shit"

The other goes "shit" whack

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/matthew2112
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2020
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What did the skydiver say when her pack didn't open?

Chute!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2018
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Why do blind people hate skydiving?

It scares the hell out of their dogs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/singh-avi
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2019
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You don't need a parachute to go skydiving

You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 124
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nadva
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2020
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You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.

You need it to go skydiving TWICE.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nihilman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2020
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Why don't blind people go skydiving

It scares the dog

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ratonacliffe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2017
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Why don't blind people skydive?

It scares the heck out of their dogs!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 419
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2018
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You don’t need a parachute to skydive.

You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/labink
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2019
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Why do blind people hate skydiving?

It scares the hell out of their dogs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Juggalover
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2019
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You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving

But you do need one to go skydiving twice

πŸ‘οΈŽ 77
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RipjawGaming
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2019
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Why don’t blind people skydive?

It scares the hell out of the dog!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2019
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Do you know why blind people don't skydive?

Because it scares the shit out of their dogs

πŸ‘οΈŽ 153
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Murphy223
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2018
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Why don't blind people go skydiving?

It scares the hell out of the dog.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 119
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Squeezer999
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2018
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Why dont blind people skydive

It scares the hell out of there dogs

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xxxsalty_pringle69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2019
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If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/blank18888
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2019
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What is the hardest part about skydiving?

The ground

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EpicAloo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2019
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