What’s the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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My boyfriend asked me what's the leading cause of dry skin?

Towel!!!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stannaso
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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An elderly inventor was becoming depressed with his life: his hearing was failing, his wife was always nagging him, he hadn't invented anything good in years, and his former good looks had been replaced by wrinkles and sagging skin.

He goes to the doctor to discuss his depression. When he arrives back home he has a huge smile on his face. He rushed past his wife and heads into the basement, where he immediately starts tinkering with a brand new invention.

His wife comes downstairs, gives the invention a once-over, then asks "What on earth is this thing, and how this supposed to help your depression?".

"Honey, the doctor told me working on this should have me feeling better in no time!" replies the man. He then proceeds to describe in detail how the machine cracks eggs, steams them, and flips them out onto a plate in under a minute, all at the touch of a button.

"But what on earth does this have to do with your depression? What did that quack doctor tell you to do?" asks the wife

The man replies: "He told me to work on my self egg-steam".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicferret
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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I get most of my news as a cream that I rub on my skin

It is pretty topical.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samwyzh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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What do you need to get rid of a demon with a skin condition?

An Exorcyst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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Does anyone know if it's possible to have a skin graft taken from a buttock to donate to someone who isn't a relative?

Arse skin for a friend.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geofferz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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Why did it take dad an hour to choose which skin cream to buy?

He didn't want to make a rash decision.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedPlanetCorridor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Whats the leading cause of dry skin? /r/Jokes/comments/lu8fbg/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YOU_TUBE_PERSON
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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Why was the man who removed 10 potato skins in 1 minute so attractive?

He had secs a peel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ambutter15
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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I remember a time when plastic surgery was a taboo subject, but nowadays when you mention botox..

..no one even raises an eyebrow.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin, to draw out excess moisture....

WOW....I'm cured.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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What do you call a tariff on skin?

A tax-a-dermis!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/impendingcrown
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Moisturiser is good for your skin...

Let that sink in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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A friend of mine needs skin grafts for surgery, but thankfully, he doesn't need donors.

That's no skin off of my nose!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I found the number one cause of dry skin!

Towels!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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I took my grandma to one of those fish spas where the fish eat all your dead skin.

So much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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How many skin divers does it take to circumcise a whale?

4

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.

The view was not worth the trip.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Think_Naught
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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My wife hates my collection of old snake skins.

So I have to keep them in the shed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I could have sworn that my skin had changed color

But it was just a pigment of my imagination

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skinhat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Why is the skin of tree trunks called bark?

Because it's rough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wotmate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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What’s the oldest age someone could get a circumcision?

I just want to know the cutoff date.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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We just bought our new dream house and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs!?" I chuckled and replied, "Awwwww sweetie...."

"Stairs don't talk!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Your epidermis is showing.

That’s it. That’s the joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lostenzo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.

It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/C0NSTABEL
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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What is the best armor for stealth?

Leather. It's made of hide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twilighttruth
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I had bunch of lumps on my skin

My friends started freaking out. They wouldn’t stop either. So I said β€œ I incyst you don’t abscess over this

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haywired4
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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I tried to substitute eggroll skins instead of the usual for my fried Chinese dumplings. They tasted the same, but came out rectangular.

I guess it's back to square won.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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What's a word that gets under your skin?

Subcutaneous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amalgamxtc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Mom here but hope you like it. Why do skeletons stay calm?

Nothing gets under their skin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skydiamond01
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. I accidentally slipped and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Grandpa gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried...

I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about.

I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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What do matadors use to keep their skin moisturized after a bullfight?

Oil of OlΓ©

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goat_chortle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?

You just have to listen varicosely.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OriginalCWP
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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For a while I dated a woman who owned a pile of flesh

You know what they say though...

Beauty is only skinned heap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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I just published a book on how to prevent skin injuries and minor burns.

It’s non friction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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I asked my dermatologist why my skin is so itchy a year ago, and he still hasn’t answered me.

I’m starting to think that he doesn’t want to make a rash decision.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lankyjay16
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gannicusgota
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the leading cause for dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know what the leading cause of dry skin is ?

Towels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconlover09
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
The leading cause of dry skin

A towel.

Got em

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karenismycat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Day three: what’s the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzatron574
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Can you give someone a skin graft from your butt?

Ass skin for a friend

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know what causes dry skin?

Towels

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thewonkabro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the leading cause of dry skin ?

Towels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the leading cause of dry skin?

A towel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/full_of_fud
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ping_pong34
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yyz-ac
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report

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