What’s the leading cause of dry skin?
My boyfriend asked me what's the leading cause of dry skin?
An elderly inventor was becoming depressed with his life: his hearing was failing, his wife was always nagging him, he hadn't invented anything good in years, and his former good looks had been replaced by wrinkles and sagging skin.
He goes to the doctor to discuss his depression. When he arrives back home he has a huge smile on his face. He rushed past his wife and heads into the basement, where he immediately starts tinkering with a brand new invention.
His wife comes downstairs, gives the invention a once-over, then asks "What on earth is this thing, and how this supposed to help your depression?".
"Honey, the doctor told me working on this should have me feeling better in no time!" replies the man. He then proceeds to describe in detail how the machine cracks eggs, steams them, and flips them out onto a plate in under a minute, all at the touch of a button.
"But what on earth does this have to do with your depression? What did that quack doctor tell you to do?" asks the wife
The man replies: "He told me to work on my self egg-steam".
I get most of my news as a cream that I rub on my skin
What do you need to get rid of a demon with a skin condition?
Does anyone know if it's possible to have a skin graft taken from a buttock to donate to someone who isn't a relative?
Why did it take dad an hour to choose which skin cream to buy?
He didn't want to make a rash decision.
Why was the man who removed 10 potato skins in 1 minute so attractive?
I remember a time when plastic surgery was a taboo subject, but nowadays when you mention botox..
..no one even raises an eyebrow.
My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin, to draw out excess moisture....
What do you call a tariff on skin?
Moisturiser is good for your skin...
A friend of mine needs skin grafts for surgery, but thankfully, he doesn't need donors.
That's no skin off of my nose!
I found the number one cause of dry skin!
I took my grandma to one of those fish spas where the fish eat all your dead skin.
So much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery.
How many skin divers does it take to circumcise a whale?
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was not worth the trip.
My wife hates my collection of old snake skins.
So I have to keep them in the shed.
I could have sworn that my skin had changed color
But it was just a pigment of my imagination
Why is the skin of tree trunks called bark?
What’s the oldest age someone could get a circumcision?
I just want to know the cutoff date.
We just bought our new dream house and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs!?" I chuckled and replied, "Awwwww sweetie...."
Your epidermis is showing.
That’s it. That’s the joke.
I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.
It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.
What is the best armor for stealth?
Leather. It's made of hide.
I had bunch of lumps on my skin
My friends started freaking out. They wouldn’t stop either. So I said “ I incyst you don’t abscess over this
I tried to substitute eggroll skins instead of the usual for my fried Chinese dumplings. They tasted the same, but came out rectangular.
I guess it's back to square won.
What's a word that gets under your skin?
Mom here but hope you like it. Why do skeletons stay calm?
Nothing gets under their skin
When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. I accidentally slipped and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Grandpa gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried...
I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about.
I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones...
What do matadors use to keep their skin moisturized after a bullfight?
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
For a while I dated a woman who owned a pile of flesh
You know what they say though...
Beauty is only skinned heap
I just published a book on how to prevent skin injuries and minor burns.
I asked my dermatologist why my skin is so itchy a year ago, and he still hasn’t answered me.
I’m starting to think that he doesn’t want to make a rash decision.
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?
What is the leading cause for dry skin?
What is the leading cause of dry skin?
Do you know what the leading cause of dry skin is ?
What's the leading cause of dry skin?
The leading cause of dry skin
Day three: what’s the leading cause of dry skin?
Can you give someone a skin graft from your butt?
Do you know what causes dry skin?
What's the leading cause of dry skin ?
What is the leading cause of dry skin?
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?
What's the leading cause of dry skin?
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