My dad was walking down the street, and saw a man carrying a twelve-foot pole on his shoulder.

He asked the man "Excuse me, but are you a pole vaulter?"

The man replied "Actually I am Ukrainian, but how did you know my name vas Valter?"

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📅︎ Aug 07 2014
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Russian Puns

How does every Russian joke start? By looking over your shoulder.


Whats the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?  Nothing, they’re both fictional characters


What’s meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union?  It’s when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party’s.


What do you call a Russian with Tourette’s Syndrome?  Yukanol Fukov.


What is 150 yards long and eats potatoes?  A Moscow queue waiting to buy meat.


What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada User’s Manual?  The bus and train timetables.


What is Communism?  The Poles say it’s the longest and most painful of the roads to capitalism.


What do you call a gassy russian? Vladimir Tootin


What is the fastest country in the world? A: Russia


What do you call a Lada on a hill?  A bloody miracle.


What did Wendi Murdoch say to Vladimir Putin?  Put-it-in!


What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles?  Electricity.


Did you hear about the winner of the Russian beauty contest? Me neither.


When was the first Russian election held?  The time that God set Eve in front of Adam and said, “Go ahead, choose your wife.”


Russia really Putin a lot of work for the Winter Olympics


I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.


America: Hey Ivan.. Russia: da.. America: what do you call a gassy Russian.. Russia: hoe don’t-.. America: Vladimir Tootin.. Russia: !   America: !!.. Russia: fuck you.


Me: Netflix and chill more like NYET-flix and chill.. Closetcellist: in a russian accent NO FILMS. ONLY CHILL.


So you want to tell me… Hilbert was Russian to the loud noise?


This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the difference between Russian and English fairy tales?” We’re answering: “The English fairy tale start with ‘Once upon a time…’, and ours with ‘It will be soon…


This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why some people say that Hungarians love the Russians and hate the Americans?” We’re answering: “Because Russians helped Hungarians to get rid of one totalitarian rule, but Americans don’t help to get rid of the other.”


This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why Lenin wore regular shoes, but Stalin wore boots?” We’re answering: “At Lenin’s time, Ru

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/Punsville
📅︎ May 16 2017
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The Pole Vaulter

During the Olympics in Rio last year, a journalist was walking through the Olympic Village, and passed a guy carrying a long pole over his shoulder.

"Hi! Are you a pole vaulter?"

"No, I'm German, but how do you know my name?"

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👤︎ u/stereoroid
📅︎ Feb 21 2017
🚨︎ report

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