I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo

After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
If sham means something's fake

Then is shampoo bullshit?

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustinTimeCuber
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
The substance you wash your hair with isn’t made from real feces, it’s fake. You could say it’s sham poo.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/idkwhatevsqwert
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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What do you call a fake stone in Ireland? A Sham Rock!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Conrad273
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
If I washed my hair with fake shit, would it still be considered sham poo?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sycsa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
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What do you call it when you wipe your derrier with a Sham Wow?

Shampoo

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/3ternalz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2016
🚨︎ report
What does a person who fakes injuries like to drink?

Champagne!

πŸ‘︎ 303
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boofaka
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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Did you know that fake poop is good for your hair?

Yeah, its called sham poo.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Just had a dealer try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said 'Made in China.'

Obviously a sham rock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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A group of leprechauns was recently busted for selling fake granite

Yeah, they were sham rocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zamoose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you fill a shampoo bottle with chocolate sauce?

Sham poo.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KlydesHail
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the best way to clean up fake shit?

Sham Poo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadA55Name
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
If you think about it, we all put fake excrement in our hair

Sham-poo

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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I read you can buy half a pillowcase down at Bed Bath and Beyond!

Turns out it was a total sham

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guru_in_flannel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Just bought a diamond ring for the Wife from a green Leprechaun. I dunno...

...Think I was sold a sham rock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a discount bed sheet off of Facebook.

Turned out to be a sham...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grimstache
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The blarney stone has lost its power

Now it's just a sham rock

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lost_in_Thought
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I threw a fake plastic turd at my wife's head while she was in the shower.

Maybe now she'll stop complaining that she's out of sham poo.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rambos_left_bicep
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Why is just farting when you think you have to crap like a hair care product?

They're both sham-poo

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/earthwulf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife has started keeping a dry-erase board labeled 'Grocery List' on the fridge, so I filled it in while she was gone this morning.
  • Kroger

  • Wal-Mart

  • Lucky's

  • Whole Foods

  • Winn Dixie

etc, etc

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chambadon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2015
🚨︎ report
Shampoo

This morning my girlfriend was telling me about her new shampoo, that comes without additives and sulfates and all that jazz.

GF: It's called "no poo" shampoo

Me: Sounds like a bit of a sham to me

She didn't get it.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENGERLUND
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
🚨︎ report
I was on a roll last night.

My family was having a burger night and I improvised some groaners:

Q - How does it sound when your cousin drives an ambulance?
A - Neeeenaaaaa-neeeeenaaaaa! (There is a cousin called Nina)
Q - How do you know when your cousin is coming to visit?
A - they ring the Issa-belle! (Yip, you guessed it there is a cousin called Issabelle)

Q - What does a dinosaur say to offer you a hot drink?
A - Would you like some tea, Rex? (Hate to over explain and ruin the joke but just in case - Rex )

Then during bathtime:

Q - When a crab goes to jail where do they lock him up?
A - A jail shell. (there was a decorative jar of shells there which I used as a muse for this piece)

Q - How does a daddy cow clean himself at night?
A - In a bub-bull bath. (Just came to me)

Q - What does an astronaut use in the bath?
A - A space cloth. (this one didn't really land but I stand by it)

Q - What do you use to wash your hair in the toilet?
A - Sham-poo (low hanging fruit but this one absolutely killed)

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dat_asthma
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
You know what you call a fake cow right?

A Sham-moo

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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That’s a nice ham you’ve got there...

It’d be a shame if someone put an β€˜s’ at the front and an β€˜e’ at the end...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Im upset about this quilt set I bought.

I thought it came with a pillow case, but it was a sham.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Comanch3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Boycott shampoo!!!

Demand real poo.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2018
🚨︎ report
How is fake dog crap like Head&Shoulders?

They're both sham-poo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/copycat042
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw an ad yesterday for a free luxury pillowcase.

It was just a sham.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IBreakForFunyuns
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Getting the bedding down

So, short version of a long story... We lost our home in the Paradise, CA Camp Fire Nov 8, 2018. My wife was on the phone with our daughter who is in college, discussing new bedding for the new house.

They had been at it for quite a while, when I said, "Duvet have anything you like? It would be a sham if they didn't..."

Silence on the phone, then, "dad, just stop."

"Ok," I said, "Just get everything down that you like."

Sigh....

One of my better moments as a dad!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Divinepyramid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said she wants to buy a fancy pillowcase at the flea market

I told her careful it might be a sham

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wenzdaynighter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
It would be a shame if I

add an "e" into sham.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Future_Banner
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Last night a girl invited me to her place for some champagne

It turned out it was real pain

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/command_613
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
🚨︎ report
Some guy just tried to sell me a lucky pillow case.

What a sham!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBooks72
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an infomercial that sounds to good to be true?

Sham Wow!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/USAneedsAJohnson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Soap is not real food

Even if one digests it, one will have sham poo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JAiFauxThe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
A salon was fined the other day for using synthetic feces to wash hair...

... they got in trouble for using sham poo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wilkc
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
🚨︎ report
China is exporting unlicensed Disney merchandise.

Sham-Pooh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/disconformity
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Pillowcases

I recently purchased a new bed and had the joy of trying to find all the necessary accessories for a California King bed. After spending a full Sunday with my girlfriend bouncing around different home stores, we finally have all the sheets, duvet covers and bed skirts we need. We've assembled our new frame and I start putting the bedding on our mattress. I'm struggling with getting everything put on and call out, "uh oh, I think we got some phony pillow cases."

Fear and anxiety paint her face as she rushes over and asks "what's wrong?!"

I quip back at her, "yeah, this thing is a sham!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/payne_train
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What's a Leprechauns favorite type of music?

Me: Sham-Rock and Roll. My Dad: That's so funny it has be Dublin over with laughter.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZigZachGamer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I purchased what I thought was a partial pillow cover.

Turned out to be a complete sham.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2017
🚨︎ report
Wife was getting ready for work when I farted in the shower...

She said, β€œThat’s gross.”

I replied, β€œWhat? All I did was a sham-poo!”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeronimoJungle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Dwayne Johnson impersonator?

A Sham-Rock! Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wellsdb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Guess I'm never going to wine tasting again.

Instructor: Only true champagne comes from Champagne Italy, everything else is called sparkling wine.

raise my hand

Me: where are these ones from?

Instructor: Those three are from California.

Me: So the rest of these are just Sham-pagnes?

Whole room groans, gf says she's never taking me to these again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DirtyMcCurdy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2015
🚨︎ report
What do they call a Cubic Zirconia in Ireland?

A sham-rock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/terdferguson
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2015
🚨︎ report
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.

It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrumSpace
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is it ok to wash your hair with fake poop?

Because it's just a sham poo

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Money_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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