A list of puns related to "Shams"
It would be a shame if someone added an e to it.
Because if there is, I donβt want to think about what Iβve been washing my hair with
I don't really have any children of my own, I just enjoy the format.
I guess you could call me a Faux Paw.
You can easily tell when it's a sham Pooh.
Then it's a soap opera.
Please!
j/k, love the guy but he likes to greet me with things like this:
"Hey, what would you call fake feces?"
"Sham-poo."
I told him I was going to post it here to see how it rates as a qualified dad joke!
For being an accessory to a kid napping.
βThatβs a sham.β
(It may be a dad joke, but letβs just say I didnβt get my sense of humor from him.)
The barber said oh he is a shampoodle.
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit theyβre bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. βIβd like some wings and a pint of beer, please,β it says. βSorry, but I canβt serve you,β the bartender replies. βYouβre out of your head.β
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. βWe donβt serve your kind here,β the bartender says. βWhy not?β one yogurt asks. βWeβre cultured.β
A friend of mine didnβt pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. Heβs an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and thereβs a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, βWhat are you staring at? Havenβt you ever seen a horse tending bar before?β The guy says, βItβs not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.β
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, βWhatβs with the paper towel?β The pirate says, βArrr! Iβve got a Bounty on me head!β
A turtle is crossing the road when heβs mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, βI donβt know. It all happened so fast.β
Armed robbersβsome say theyβre a drain on society, but youβve got to give it to them.
Barbersβ¦you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Donβt forget the pickle. Itβs kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. Thereβs Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewisβ¦ Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit β‘Sham-poo
Then is shampoo bullshit?
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
Champagne!
Happy Saint Patrick's Day!
But I think itβs a sham pain
T'was a sham rock.
My wife: do you mean the sham poo?
The ring was just a sham rock.
But my wife hates it when I make blanket statements.
Im-pastas
Conditioning.
...but they only played the live version. What a sham.
Shampoo
When it's shampoo.
Hee/Hee
Why do they use sham poo when they can just use real poo
When she screamed the next morning I told her not to worry, itβs just a sham poo.
If you canβt kiss the Blarney Stone today, just use a fake substitute. Any sham rock will do.
Demand real poo.
Sham-Rock
A guy walks into a bar and orders a green beer. "I went out and bought my two daughters some cubic zirconia cocktail rings to celebrate St. Patrick's Day," he tells the bartender. "That way they will have sham rocks."
It turned out to be a sham
This morning my girlfriend was telling me about her new shampoo, that comes without additives and sulfates and all that jazz.
GF: It's called "no poo" shampoo
Me: Sounds like a bit of a sham to me
She didn't get it.
β¦and I thought I found a one, but it turned to be just a sham.
then itβs a soap opera
He was a spam-artist
A sham rock.
Itβd be a shame if someone put an βsβ at the front and an βeβ at the end...
One sells sham poo, the other sells shampoo.
My daughter better get used to these sorts of jokes,
I'm going to conditioner.
Sham pain
It turned out it was real pain
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