Need customer service puns

I'm looking for anything pun wise or clever in the area of customer service. Like "Minimum Rage" but something else.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/isaakwells
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2017
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Why do women have a difficult time working for the postal service?

It’s mail-dominated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SecondRateHack
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Services to the point
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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How do squids exchange goods and services?

Squid pro quo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edwardshirohige
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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I once had a faulty box of Corn Flakes so I called up Kellogg's customer services to see if they could help.

Unfortunately they weren't able to help me in the end as I wasn't able to find the box's cereal number.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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I'm starting a new dating service in Prague

Its called Check-Mate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imluke2311
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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My barber wanted me to sign a long term service agreement before giving me a haircut, but I refused!

I just couldn't accept all those perms and conditions!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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I have an idea for a math tutoring service.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maxcellane0us
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Why did Sean Connery sign up for the men's grooming prescription service?

They had such great shavings.

Edit: Title should be subscription, wtf autocorrect

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B1naryB0t
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Did you hear that U.S. Mail is starting a freight delivery service to compete with FedEx and UPS?

It’s called β€œS Cargo”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blizzardwizard88
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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I personally find Tinder not that great of a dating service.

I prefer e-bae

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggfchl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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I’ve started an organization that grants scholarships to former armed services individuals that want to become animal doctors. Grantees are awarded based on an interview process.

I call it β€œBest bets for vetting vets for vets”

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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Amazon has come up with a new service where they deliver custom made suits to your house in 48 hours.

It’s called Tailor Swift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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It's an essential service.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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Public Service Announcement: In order to meet the energy budget for 2020....

the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Thank you and have a nice day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JadedByEntropy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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What did the secret service yell when Disney sent assassins after our president?

Donald, duck!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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I frantically rushed to the computer service center to repair my storage device before it died

It was a hard drive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chronoz42
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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The secret service has a new protocol if there's a threat in the room with the president

They used to yell down. Now it's

"Donald duck!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boreddudemo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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The United States Postal Service got jokes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenLeafGreg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.

Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

Edit: Wow! My first Silver and my first Gold! I am honored. What an amazing community. It's a great place to visit after a challenging day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/H2O_is_Great
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
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I went to a Norwegian restaurant the other day. The food was delicious. The service was superb. The only problem was...

I couldn't a-fjord it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nonononer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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I let my out of town girlfriend know her vegetable service delivered a package today and I had some bad news.

She asked what had happened to it,

I told her the box had a leek in it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CptnBo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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Hulu Is The Streaming Service Of Hulugans.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cat_Loving_Trio
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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I tried to tell a joke about the Postal Service...

But nobody got it because I messed up the delivery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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Eric refunded his memory extraction service

It wasn't what he had in mind

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pingi2015
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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I can get you a great deal on cremation services....

But you have to urn it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ravanik
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Why did the feminist want to boycott the Postal Service?

Because it is predominantly mail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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What do you call a fortune teller that provides his services for free?

A not-for-prophet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesabermaniac
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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I saw an ambulance with the lights on at the local mechanics today.

Guess they needed an emergency service.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darksteel_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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I had the nastiest,rudest,slowest cashier today.

I guess it's my own fault for using the self service checkout lane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Did you hear about Hooters’ new contactless delivery service?

For a while it was knockers, but now it’s just honkers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadzoned3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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Man with a picaxe was refused service...

they dont serve miners

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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I went to one of those insect restaurants, and the service was terrible

Apparently it’s because fly-tipping is not allowed!

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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The US Postal Service doesn't have enough machines to differentiate the mail.

They're all out of sorts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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I just returned from my MIL's funeral, she was hit on the head during a tennis match & killed

It was a lovely service...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Excellent customer service.

I bought a T-Shirt the other day but it kept giving me static electric shocks every time I tried to wear it.

I took it back to the store and they kindly replaced it with another one free of charge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PringyUK
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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I mean normally the customer service at the chip shop is fine. But when there's huge lines and only a few teens working there? Then it's...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElvisGrizzly
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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Today a naked man ran into our church and disrupted the service...

He was eventually caught by the organ.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lostinthesauce336
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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There’s a new Apple service for leaving angry reviews.

iRate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punnygeist
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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As part of my community service, I had to hand out cans of pineapple to needy families...

I Doled it out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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New dating service launched in Prague!

It's called Czech-Mate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/t44s
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked

now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Amazon has started a new service where you will get custom made shirts delivered within 48 hours.

It’s called Tailor Swift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
"Back so soon? I thought you went for a haircut, dad?" asked my son. "Well..." I replied. "My barber wanted me to sign a long term service agreement before giving me a haircut, but I refused."

"I couldn't accept all those perms and conditions."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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Amazon is starting a new service where they deliver custom made shirts to your door within 48 hours.

They are calling it Tailor Swift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.

Now they have to yell "Donald Duck!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Overlevendeftw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.

Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tankerman05
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report

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